


The Altar (Archived)

by wheelparty



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:27:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 26,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27408787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wheelparty/pseuds/wheelparty
Summary: "I had finally returned from that journey. I had left with high hopes and came back empty-handed. Whether or not everything was worth it, I do not know. But… I do know I must honor those who are no longer with me…" AU





	1. Chapter 1

**So these are the chapters on my now discontinued story The Altar. These chapters are being uploaded for archival purposes and so anyone that wants to still read them can. Furthermore, this story was one of the predecessors of my current series Traveler, so I figured that I would upload these chapters for anyone who would like to see where (part of) my current story originated. I'm opened eventually reworked the story from the ground up with the same concept, but a different protagonist and situation. However, I don't know when that will be, or much about the story at this time. However, anyone who is interested can leave me suggestions on this story. Other than that, enjoy!**

**Hello again! So after a brief hiatus, I'm back with the first multi-chapter fan fiction since my account’s reopening! This fan fiction was originally written for a Halloween contest, but I realized it was becoming too long, so it didn't make it in. However, I noticed it would work well as a multi-chapter, so a multi-chapter it became.**

**A word of warning about this fan fiction. It is a sadder fanfic and there are character deaths onscreen. If these things don't appeal to you, you might want to give this fan fiction pass.**

**As usual, I do not own Pokémon, and please see the author's notes afterward for more information.**

**Other than that, enjoy!**

______________________________________________________________________________

1: Traditions

It was unmistakable what time of year it was.

Children sprinted from house to house, holding out buckets at the doors. Orange pumpkins glowed with their gleaming grins. Ghosts had their faces fixed in a permanent howl as the children bid them collect candy. Some didn't even have buckets, but massive bags clearly served the same purpose.

The buckets and bags trembled under the weight of the candy. Several of the children fumbled with their precious cargo as they nearly dropped what was holding it. Some of them found they were cursed on this night as candy clattered on the ground. Echoing laughter mixed with the howling sobs of the less fortunate.

No matter what the children used, the carriers of the candy all had one thing in common.

There was so much that candy that it looked like _the items_ were the ones devouring it. The buckets and bags were filled so high that they seemed like they would explode. No matter how much the hands of the children dug, seeing the bottom was impossible. Despite this, children still clamored for more. Giant grins filled the faces of the homeowners as they emptied countless sweet treats into the children's care.

Yet, candy wasn't the only thing that made this time of year stand out.

Decorations seemed to transform the world. Orange and black streamers hung everywhere. The dazzlingly yellow streetlights now glowed a festive orange. It was as if the lights were pointing to the many houses, and the children eagerly followed them.

However, those who followed the lights were not without obstacles.

Fake ghosts and spiders dropped from every possible place. Smaller children screamed and fear took over their faces. Terrified footsteps could be heard as they scurried home.

The older ones barely turned as the younger ones fled past them.

No, they were too preoccupied with their own mad dash for candy. Laughter once again filled the streets as the braver souls shrugged off the false frights’ antics.

But false frights weren't limited to objects.

There were things one could hear as well.

The TV building often blared cheerful music. Yet now that music was replaced by terrifying tunes. These melodies attempted to drive off all but the bravest. Perhaps they succeeded too well. A tower once visited by hundreds of people was now approached with shaky steps.

It was as though people expected ghosts to creep out from the building’s doors.

That expectation wasn't completely unfounded.

Among all the false ghosts floated real ones.

No one understood why they had chosen to travel from faraway places like Eterna, yet here they were. For every child that enjoyed the treats from the houses, there was a Gastly waiting to pull a trick.

This stuck out their tongues, lolling like dogs. Curious children stepped forward.

That was when the farce dropped.

In an instant, the Gastlys’ tongues flew forth. Faces froze as they were drenched with supernatural slobber. The children stood staring, muscles momentarily seized by paralysis both literal and figurative.

Curiosity was replaced by horror as the children left their trance. The Gastly cackled, laughter clashing with the children’s screeches. The children couldn't share the joy though. Their pale faces could rival snow as they sprinted out of sight. But the Gastly didn't seem to mind the distress, as they howled with glee long after the children had disappeared.

Yet the other ghosts would not be outdone by the Gastly.

Many children thought they would be safe stepping away from the ominous buildings, only to be greeted by a devious Misdreavus. The Pokémons’ wailing pierced the night, seemingly striving to outdo the startling music. It was soon joined by choruses of screams. Minutes later, the children fled so fast it seemed as though they were flying.

The tricks and the treats made it clear that there was a tradition being celebrated.

And there was no doubts what tradition was.

The night beheld a joyful Halloween in Jubilife City.

And yet, I didn't have the heart to enjoy any of it.

As I trudged into the city from the eastern route, my feet pounded on the pavement.

_No, her_ feet pounded on the pavement.

I had to remember that this body wasn't truly mine. In a way, I fit right in with the ghosts playing with the children on Halloween.

But then again, it may as well have been mine now. After all, I led her on this journey.

_Ghosts… Bodies…_

_Of course I had to be reminded of what happened…_

I stole a glance into a nearby mirror as I crossed into the center of the city. The glare in my eyes seemed harder than rock. My fists, instead of being wide open and swinging buckets of candy, were balled into shapes that resembled boulders. Neither fear nor happiness manifested on my face. The corners of my lips remained unmoving, as if I was the one gripped by the ghosts’ paralysis.

My gaze swept over the rest of the city, even though I desperately wished I could look away.

Before, any Halloween decoration was an invitation to jump right into the festivities.

But now, the lights, the costumes, the candy, and even the ghost Pokémon just made me sick.

I knew why, but that provided no comfort.

Thoughts screamed in my head, and I gritted my teeth as I tried to ignore them.

_Why should they be happy while you aren't?_

_Shouldn't they care about a Trainer who nearly became the Champion, only to have it ripped away at the last second?_

_Shouldn’t they recognize the one that had averted catastrophe?_

_Shouldn't they understand the sorrow and anger of someone who had left on a journey and come back with nothing?_

Slowly, the negative thoughts of the present were invaded by those of the past.

_The professor had approached me afterward, as though he'd been expecting to find me where I’d eventually ended up._ _“You did the best you could. Most Trainers don't make it to the eighth gym.”_

_Cynthia had heard too, and came soon after. “You stopped Cyrus, and mastered the power of Giratina! No matter what happened, you're still an amazing Trainer!”_

_Even Looker, with his broken speech and heavy accent, congratulated me on being a valuable asset to the International Police Force, and helping defeat the dangerous Team Galactic._

But was it really worth it? Did _she_ think so?

As my mind returned the present, I tried to focus on the other things before me.

Yes, the other areas before the city should work.

To the north lay the rocky cavern known as the Ravaged Path. And further beyond that was the town of flowers.

_Flowers… Flowers for…_

I shut my eyes. I promised myself I wouldn't think about that.

_Her eyes… That's right… What was in her eyes when…?_

Quickly, I whirled around to shake the thoughts from my head.

Beyond me lay the grassy expanses from which I just returned. Further on, the miners’ town of Oreburgh slept (or maybe they didn't, on this day).

_Slept… Slept forever…_

Could I not escape my feelings? Perhaps another rapid turning around would solve that.

To the west there was a fishing hole, and, for those who could cross the water, a small town called Canalave.

I sighed.

At least I didn't have any bad memories of the water.

I didn't dare turn to the south.

The south led to Sandgem and Twinleaf.

Where my ill-fated journey began.

The journey I had treated like a game.

Because it was.

But I was not alone in playing it. There were countless others, and I thought that they were having fun.

So I decided I had to play too, and play I did.

For nearly a month, I played the game.

But in the end, I lost.

I still remembered what happened there.

Now, the rules were ringing in my head like bells…

_If a Pokémon faints, it is dead and cannot be used again…_

_When a Pokémon dies, another must be taken out of reserves to replace it…_

_Only the first Pokémon on each route can be caught, with exceptions to special events…_

_The same Pokémon cannot be caught twice…_

_Any shiny Pokémon may be caught regardless…_

_Everything must be nicknamed…_

_When the Pokémon dies, its spirit is sent to Heaven and its body buried to honor its memory…_

_Heaven…_

_Heaven…_

I stared up at the full moon, its beams dazzling in the sky. Were the departed souls watching me from there?

And what did they think of me now? What did they think of _her?_ Were the fallen ones some of the ghosts that had come back on this haunted night?

_Heaven…_

_Heaven…_

I nodded.

Of course. That was what I had to do. It was what both _she_ and _they_ would want.

Even if she wasn't the one in control.

Slowly, my boulder-like hands opened wide. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. The feet that had lumbered clumsily before now stood firmly on the ground.

I had finally returned from that journey. I had left with high hopes and came back empty-handed. Whether or not everything was worth it, I do not know.

But… I do know I must honor those who are no longer with me…

The question was how.

I didn't know enough of Sinnoh’s funeral customs to give them a proper sendoff that way. And even if I did, I wasn't about to make the moment awkward by trying to attempt something completely foreign. Even if _she_ probably knew what the customs were, it wasn't like I could ask.

_Foreign…_

_Foreign…_

That's right. I had customs from my homeland, and I could use those.

But which one to choose? I had seen so many different things…

Again, I rapidly glanced around the city, eyes occupied in a futile search for inspiration.

All that greeted me was the continuous cheery scene and the white lights cast down by the full moon.

But, perhaps that was all I needed.

I nodded. Of course it was.

Yes, this joyful day had decided what I would do for the fallen. For the day after this one came another ceremony.

This sacred ceremony was quite unlike its flashy counterpart, but it served the purpose perfectly well. However, this tradition was one that I doubted anyone in the city knew about. I would most likely be free to pursue it uninterrupted. Unfortunately, I couldn't start it here, with the chance of constant startled stares.

I once again faced the south, with its smaller towns. The one closest to me was Sandgem, and after that, tiny Twinleaf.

Twinleaf had hardly any room, but Sandgem would be perfect.

It was fitting, considering the latter town was where the failed journey truly begin.

With the moon still this high in the sky, there was plenty of time to reach the place before the dawn of the next day.

I broke into a full sprint and hurtled towards my destination. As I did so, one final word rattled in my head.

_Platinum…_

I gritted my teeth.

She may not have understood the meaning of the word, but to me, it meant more than ever…

One of the final tragic reminders of the deadly game I’d played.

However, I soon ignored it as I raced towards the town. The grass tickled my legs, and I resisted the urge to scratch the uncomfortable itch. Yet, just like the anxious thoughts about my journey, I shove the urge away.

Who knew when I would be able to run like this again? Certainly not in my own body.

So I savored the moment as her body carried me through the route leading to Sandgem. Effortlessly I (or perhaps I should say _she_ ) leaped over ledges. My feet barely had time to hit the ground as I continued the dash without a second thought. Again the tall grass reached my legs, but this time there was no itch. I barely noticed as the long grass gave way to shorter sets.

Instead my thoughts whisked me to Lake Verity.

Lake Verity was near my destination… Of course I would think about it…

The legendary being Mespirit still resided at the lake. Of course, this was long after I, _(no, she)_ had freed it from the clutches of evil.

Did it think what I was currently undertaking was the bravest of missions, or a fool’s errand? I did not know, and I wasn't about to ask when I could no longer match its power.

Besides, I doubted that even I wanted to know.

I picked up speed and rapidly reached my destination. I'd no idea what time it was, but it must've been late. The place had long since gone quiet, lacking even a single person on its streets. Of course, this could be due to Sangem being a small town instead of a bustling city. However, I figured even they would celebrate on this night.

Yet the only sound that greeted me was the distant whisper of the waves on the beach to the south. The only sight that lined my vision were darkened buildings.

That is, except for one.

The light streamed through the building like a beacon. The golden beams struck the ground, illuminating it like the moon had in the city. A red roof stood out from everything else in the town. Pure white, somehow unblemished by time and wear, made up the rest of the place.

Even when the world slept, the Pokémon Centers always remained awake.

The glass doors opened wide as I threw myself into the Pokémon Center. A nurse walked up to the desk, and it took all my effort not to crash into the object. The nurse’s eyes widened with shock, but it soon faded. In its place was a voice laced with concern.

“Miss, are you all right? It's very late. Do you know what time and day it is?”

Without even glancing in her direction, I bolted down a corridor. Wordlessly, I slammed myself into a bed.

I had hoped the nurse would get the silent message I’d sent. It didn't seem that was the case, as I could hear her walking towards my bed. 

“Are you all right?”

Fatigue washed over me like a wave, sleepiness making my eyes heavier than rock. However, if I didn't talk now, the nurse might not leave.

“I'm all right. I just need a place to stay.” I mumbled.

The nurse nodded. “Then use the bed for the night. Enjoy your rest.”

As the nurse walked away, my thoughts quickly turned to the oddity in the situation. Despite the fact that an unknown trainer I collapsed into a bed, she didn't think it strange that I was there. But then, trainers travelled to and from Pokémon Centers all the time. And not everyone arrived during "normal" hours.

At least she had understood my message.

Now was time for me to receive one too.

Even though there was no voice, the message was still painfully obvious.

Even with this body, I still needed to rest.

Now, this body felt as though it was weighted down by something heavier than steel. I managed to resist in order to pull the covers over my head. Unfortunately, I doubted I could move again.

So instead, I surrendered to the clutches of sleep.

But I would be awake at the coming of dawn.

As the sun rose in the first morning hours of the day, so did I. I tossed back my covers and my feet slammed on the floor.

As I rose from my bed, a smile crossed my face.

To be able to stand stably, without anything holding me back…

It was something that always seemed like a distant dream in my own body…

And this dream fulfilled was one of the things I would always miss when I returned there…

Yet that was not the only thing I would miss.

I rapidly tore off the clothes I had slept in. Immediately afterward, I snatched clean clothing from another corner of the room. Without further ado, I effortlessly slipped into my _(no, her)_ clothing, basking in the strength of a body than no longer fought against itself.

_“No longer fighting…”_

I shook my head.

I couldn't think about this body too hard.

I had to get going, because _they_ were no longer fighting.

I scanned the room, and took all my effort to resist grimacing.

Just because I enjoyed living in this body did not mean I also enjoyed the original owner's taste in clothing.

Bright pink boots with a bright pink shirt? What would-be champion wore such _childish_ things?

However, I didn't dare show my disdain very much.

Perhaps _she_ was watching.

Not every clothing choice was one I disliked, luckily.

I glanced at a small backpack sitting on a chair. Wordlessly, I slipped it over my shoulder and onto my back. As the weight settled in its place, I paused to reflect.

To carry something on my back was almost a luxury. The weight indicated I finally had strength. Strength that I would waste no time using.

After all, I never would be able to carry something like this after I left this body.

My eyes then wandered over to a desk.

A white hat stared back at me, emblazoned with the emblem of the Pokémon League. I shut my eyes.

Hats. A symbol of days gone by. Of innocent times, when I was much younger.

The pain that welled up in me had long since dulled, but it did not change the grim reminder.

The innocent days were no more.

I snatched up the hat, throwing it squarely on my head. I took care to adjust it slightly.

Where I was going, I couldn't afford to look sloppy.

I tore through the Pokemon Center, dashing towards the door with the fervor of a madman.

I nearly fell as the nurse grabbed me.

“You need to eat.” She told me. “As far as I know, you haven't eaten anything. And it's not good to travel on an empty stomach,”

My cheeks burned as sheepishly looked back at her.

No matter whose body it was, it still needed food.

One of the other nurses brought me food, and within minutes, the need had been satisfied. However, my eyes met with the disapproving glare of the nurse that dragged me there. As I tried figuring out what was wrong, I glanced down at my now clean plate. It didn't take me long to realize I must've devoured the food like a vacuum cleaner. Of course the nurse would be worried I might get sick.

But I had no time to waste.

I barely muttered a hasty "thank you" as finally sprinted out of the Pokémon Center. My destination wasn't far, but there was still much I needed to do.

Within minutes, another building loomed in front of me.

This one was undoubtedly the most famous in all of Sandgem Town.

I now stood before Professor Rowan's Pokémon Lab.

_The professor…_

Despite his doubts, he had given me a Pokémon and set me off on my disastrous journey…

Did he harbor any guilt or regret since he made his choice? Was he grieving as one of his Pokémon was lost forever?

What did he think of me now? What did he think of _her_ now?

There was only one way to find out.

Swallowing hard, I jogged up and knocked on the door. The professor's eyes widened as he answered.

“Oh, you're…” He made an awkward face as he hesitated about what to call me.

It was easy to resist the urge to laugh; after all, his confusion was my own fault.

She and I had very different names, and I had never told him my own. In the end, it was her body I was possessing, so I thought it more polite to use her name.

But no matter what I did, there was no denying that I _wasn't_ her.

The fact that I was standing outside Sandgem’s Pokémon Lab the morning after one of the biggest holidays of the year proved that.

Finally, the professor responded “…that Trainer.”

I simply nodded. “Yes.”

I took a brief moment to think that I would never get used to her high-pitched, youthful voice as the professor continued. “It's very early in the morning. Is it urgent?”

Suddenly, his eyes darkened, and I didn't need a Psychic Pokémon to guess his thoughts.

Still, the professor spoke them anyway.

“You don't intend… to go out on another journey, do you? I remember how devastated you were with your last one, and I honestly don't know if you're ready…”

I held my hand ( _her_ hand) and shook my head, replying “No, that's not why I'm here. Of course I'm not ready.”

“Then shouldn't you be celebrating? It's the day after the holiday!”

“I want to have a different type of celebration. And that one starts today.”

The professor tilted his head, confusion written on his face.

“What kind of celebration is that?”

I kept my voice icily calm as I responded. “It is a sacred ceremony used to honor the dead. It's a tradition to some people in my homeland, and they passed those traditions down to me.”

The professor's face went a ghostly pale. Maybe he didn't understand the ceremony, but there was no doubt he understood _who_ I wanted to honor.

However, we could have this silence for long. It was unbefitting of the professor, and the day didn't last forever.

“I should explain more to you. Maybe this is something you've heard of.”

The professor slowly regained his color, and he nodded.

“Yes. But do come inside. It's odd having a conversation standing outside the door.”

I nodded back, finding one thing we both agreed on.

Once inside, I spared no details. All I knew about ceremony rolled off my tongue.

I could only imagine how overwhelmed he must've felt as I inundated him with information about the foreign custom. Yet, he nodded wisely after I spoke enough to create a dissertation.

“That ceremony is almost unheard of in Sinnoh. Everything I know about it is through books.”

“Would you allow me to perform it, then?”

“Yes, I would, but don't perform it in the town. If this is a ceremony honoring the dead, I don't think doing it near the lab would be a good idea… It might scare beginning trainers.”

“Oh, don't worry, I have the perfect place in mind. It won't scare anyone.”

“Good. I would like to see the results when you are done.”

“You're very welcome to.”

And as I walked out of the lab, I knew what all this had really meant.

I had the memories of my failure, but now this cemented it.

Yet it also celebrated those who I had left behind.

Maybe this was my way of letting go.

What was _she_ thinking, with the unfamiliar tradition and its morbid implications?

Would _she_ be the one that was scared, reminded of the failure and the dead?

Or would she be comforted, knowing that those I’d (no, _we’d_ ) would live on?

I didn't have much time to ponder.

If I didn't begin the preparations, there would be no ceremony to perform.

And the place I had to start in was right in front of me.

I whirled around, heading back into Sandgem’s Pokémon Lab.

**Author's notes:**

**-So this is an interesting little thing that I thought of while I was browsing through some of the notes for my old Pokémon runs. I found some notes for a run I had never completed, and decided to make a tribute to it.**

**-The reference to the game and how deadly it is has to do with something called a Nuzlocke. For those who don't know, a Nuzlocke is a type of challenge run. There are many different variants, but some of the core rules are that there are catching limitations (usually the first thing that appears in the area), everything is nicknamed, and if a Pokémon faints, it cannot be used again. Typically, runs are considered failed if someone loses all their Pokémon, or otherwise cannot continue.**

**-The run I had failed on was a Nuzlocke, and the rules that repeat in the protagonist’s head are some of the actual rules that were used in the run. Likewise, getting to the eighth gym was how far I got into the actual run. Finally, the word Platinum repeats in the protagonist’s head because Pokémon Platinum was the game that was used for the actual run.**

**-As for the protagonist herself, I won't say much due to spoilers, but the easiest way to understand what's going on is to think of her like how a player character "possesses" the characters they control in the games.**


	2. Boxes

**So here it is, the next chapter of The Altar! As always, I do not own Pokémon, and see the author's notes for details. Enjoy!**

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2: Boxes

I swore I spared no detail in telling the professor what was going on.

Yet he still stared at me as I waltzed back into the lab immediately after I'd left it.

Confusion was written on his face, and once again, it was clear that a Psychic Pokémon wasn't needed to understand why.

I resisted the urge to slap my _(_ or rather, _her)_ forehead as I trotted past.

After all, the whole misunderstanding had a stupid reason.

It was either because I wasn't I good at explaining things, or he didn't understand much as I'd thought.

Then again, over-sharing _was_ an issue of mine.

Maybe the professor was only _pretending_ to understand before, just to be polite.

Regardless of the reason for his confusion, the professor did not hesitate to ask for clarification.

“Why are you back here? I thought you were going out to do your mourning tradition.”

I met his gaze squarely as I replied. “I am. I just need to get something here first.”

The professor quickly replied. “Sure, what you need?”

I shrugged my _(no, her)_ shoulders. “Oh, just some empty boxes.”

The professor's eyes immediately went wide, and I resisted the urge to sigh. I knew I was in for another easily avoided misunderstanding.

“Empty boxes? Why in the world would you need that?”

I tried to keep my voice even as I responded. “Didn't I explain everything to you before? The boxes are the start of the tradition.”

The professor didn't sound entirely convinced, but he still replied. “Okay, then. There should be some empty boxes in the storage room. It’s the back of the lab.”

I nodded. “Thank you.”

As I headed towards the back room, my mind whisked me to the conversation that got me there.

But it wasn't the professor's confusion I thought of, or my odd request.

I'd looked him in the eyes.

It didn't matter that it wasn't _my_ eyes that looked at him, or that it was _her_ body that made the contact.

No, what mattered was that I'd never be able to that on my own.

Thanks to _her,_ my voice was no longer muffled by glancing at the ground. Gone were the bewildered stares as I literally talked over people's heads.

And now I _(and she)_ could finally battle Trainers properly.

But I couldn't disregard what went on below my _(no, her)_ eyes.

At last, I could control my shoulders! Even if they were really _hers._

This body was not seized by painful spasms. Instead, it could make any expression it wanted, and move however it liked.

If only my old body had such freedom!

Like now, when I whirled around and realized I'd made barely any progress in my trip to the storage room.

I'd been lost in my own thoughts, again.

And if I continued with this body and no purpose, the thoughts would never cease. I needed something to distract myself…

Scanning the area would do.

My _(no, her)_ now eyes focused on the lab’s pristine white floor. I thought the lab sparkled, but glancing back up proved that was just my imagination. I picked up the sound of the computer humming away in the corner. I almost pondered walking over to see what unmanned task currently kept the machine occupied. However, I figured the professor wouldn't appreciate me interfering with his research.

I wasn't about to risk his anger after he so generously agreed to help me perform the ceremony.

My eyes drifted slightly to the right.

And then my face blanched as white as the floor.

In reality, it was _her_ face. But I was sure she would have turned white as well if her eyes beheld the Poké Balls sitting on the small table.

_Poké Balls…_

_The objects that were the start of everything… The harbinger to the past disaster…_

_If I hadn't had them, the incident would've never happened…_

_Yet for many trainers, they were the beginning of a journey, hopes, and dreams…_

_Did she still think of them that way?_

_Or did she also feel their meaning was twisted, corrupted by the journey that had no true resolution?_

_She couldn't answer now. I had no idea why was I asking._

But it wasn't just the Poké Balls that truly drew my attention.

No, it was also what was inside of them.

Three of the capsules were lined up neatly on the small table. I'd never met what they beheld. Yet, they may as well have clearly displayed what Pokémon were inside.

_The turtle sporting the tiny leaf… The monkey wreathed in flames… And the penguin that could command water…_

_The trio couldn't have been more different, but they were all called by the same name._

_Starter Pokémon…_

_The first Pokémon that left with many young trainers on their journeys... Often the one they cherished the most…_

_The starter Pokémon were just like the one I (no, she) had owned… Wide-eyed and innocent, until tragedies happened…_

_Tragedies like mine…_

_That's right…_

_How could I forget?_

_My starter had…_

I winced and shut my eyes.

I couldn't think about the Pokémon for the new trainers now.

If I didn't leave on my own journey soon, what happened to the starter Pokémon I once carried would be for nothing.

With this in mind, I reached my destination in a matter of minutes.

The professor had been right when he mentioned there were boxes in the storage room.

What he hadn't mentioned was that most of them weren't empty.

Instead, they were sprawled everywhere, open and filled to the brim.

My _(or rather, her)_ face broke into a scowl. A professor should know how to keep his lab clean! And he shouldn't have neglected to tell me that the boxes weren't empty!

Then again, maybe no one used this place. This _was_ a back room after all.

Nevertheless, I still had to complete my task.

Rapidly, I bent down and examined the boxes more closely. Surely there was one I'd missed…

There _was_ one I missed, but not in the way I was thinking of.

Suddenly, I stumbled. I wasn't entirely sure over what, but I suspected the culprit was one of the many boxes lying on the ground.

I didn't have time to ponder it, as the floor flew towards me.

I staggered to catch myself, yet it was in vain. My _(no, her)_ legs simply could not step past the object that had tripped me.

Instinctively I shot out a hand, but this was fruitless as well.

Instead, another box was knocked to the ground, making a deafening crash.

Shortly thereafter, I crashed alongside it.

The tile met my chest as I slammed down, and it was if all the air had been sucked out of me. The world spun, like a children's toy. And yet, I couldn't see anything but the tile that was now on the same level as my face.

Dimly, I registered pain in my cheek. I thought about touching it, yet my body felt like it was frozen.

I simply lay where I was, trying to catch my breath and calm my beating heart.

Even though I could now get up without any problems, emotions after falling were no different.

And even this body had problems with balance.

I wondered if anyone would find me like this. Surprisingly, no one came.

I rolled on my back and winced. Even if there wasn’t any blood, I'd need some first aid.

A pity _he_ wasn't here…

Whenever I fell, he always came running. I guess he wondered if I was okay, but I was never sure…

And now he couldn't tell me.

I sighed. It was no use thinking about _him._ No matter how much I wanted it, he wasn't coming back.

My only choice was to keep going.

Slowly, I picked myself up. The pain in my cheek burned, but I couldn't let that distract me.

Especially not when the contents of the box I'd knocked over had spilled everywhere on the floor.

I bent down again, careful not to repeat my mistake from before. Upon further scrutiny, it seemed the professor had an impressive collection of machine parts. There must've been almost every type of machine imaginable.

Right away I spotted the flip top of a washing machine. Even though it almost blended in with the white floor, it still stood down from the rest of the machines.

This point was proven as it lay next to a pitch black fan blade. Dust layered the fan blade like a second coat of paint, and yet it still looked like it could spin at any second.

A piece from what looked like an oven door lay directly in front of the other objects. Unlike the fan blade, there was no way this could work, but I had no doubt it had before. A black square shared its space. Once again, there was no saving it, but I could see from the dilapidated handle that it used to be a refrigerator

And last of it all was a red box-like part that looked like it was from a lawnmower. I could still smell the sweet scent of grass, but it could've been my imagination.

Yet my mind was overtaken by another thought.

_All these machines… Together in one place… A Pokémon lab, no less… This could only mean…_

Before I could finish my musings, they were there.

The Pokémon emerged from around the boxes, expressions of concern and curiosity plastered on their faces.

All wore a brilliant orange, but the similarities ended there. One sported spinning fan blades, much like the silent counterpart on the ground. Another created a slight chill which emanated from its rectangular body. Still another hovered directly over me, to the point where I could almost look directly into its glowing red eyes. Heat radiated off the creature's body, and I swore I was sweating from its warmth.

Yet the Pokémon were not to be outdone by the three others of their kind.

They floated over, observing closely. One Pokémon stole a glance with its deep blue eyes. Eyes that, I noted, matched water that flowed through the tightly closed circle on its stomach. Another approached from behind, and it made no attempt to hide its coming. The scent of grass filled my nostrils. This time, I had no doubt it was real.

Yet even those Pokémon could not compare to the final one in the room.

This Pokémon was the plainest of them all, but also the most thorough.

Its orange body was merely round with a tip, and blue lightning bolts stretched out front of it. However, what the Pokémon lacked in flashiness it made up for in observation. It soared in front of me, moving slower than its brethren had. Eventually, it stopped and hovered quietly. However, the Pokémon's eyes scanned restlessly.

Without warning, it inched even closer. I didn't dare move.

So impatient the Pokémon had seemed before, yet now it displayed unparalleled focus.

Now its gaze zeroed in, transfixed on the body I had possessed.

First the feet, then the legs, then the torso…

All the way up to the head and face.

But what would be the reason for this Pokémon giving me a full body examination?

Was it concerned about injuries, or simply curious?

To think any Pokémon would be concerned about me after what happened…

Regardless of its reasoning, the Pokémon floated back to join its comrades.

I took this as an invitation to move and stepped forward.

I knew I couldn’t waste any time, but I had to return the Pokémons’ favor.

Immediately, I directed my gaze towards them.

Though they each looked different, they were all called the same thing.

Rotom.

I shut my eyes.

_Rotom…_

_Rotom…_

_What did that mean?_

_Motor…_

_Motor…_

_Motor, like the one I knew…_

_What did it feel, being taken from the mansion?_

_Had it despised me for bringing it on a mission that failed?_

_Or had it been relieved over finally finding a solution to its loneliness?_

_I’d never know, because now Motor was…_

I shook my head.

No matter the resemblance, these Rotom weren't Motor.

And thinking about Motor wouldn't help my situation now.

Instead, I continued facing the Rotom. They stared back at me, as if we were competing for who had the sharpest gaze.

Surely they would stare more, considering what my next plan was.

The plan might not work, but I had no other recourse.

I stepped forward, taking a deep breath.

“Excuse me, do any of you know where the empty boxes are?”

Widened eyes and frowning faces answered my question.

A heavy sigh escaped my lips.

No matter what, the Rotoms were still Pokémon! Of course they probably wouldn't understand human speech!

Just when I was about to try to rummage again, the Pokémon suddenly faced each other.

The room was filled with the humming of electricity and the murmuring of voices.

I may not have heard what they were saying, but the topic of "conversation" was clearly obvious.

The Pokémon may have completely understood what was going on, but they did understand that they had to agree on what to do with me.

Just then, I cringed, and the familiar feeling of chilling shivers ran down my back. I tried to halt them as they crawled down my body.

Yet my efforts were to no avail.

I gritted my teeth even more, as I recalled the reason for my distress.

_I had no Pokémon, and I was shaken from the fall. Not to mention that it was clear the Rotoms didn't completely understand what I was saying before. If one of them decided to turn hostile…_

No, such thoughts were irrational!

I was in a lab, so these Pokémon were probably trained. At worst, they might be mildly annoyed.

_But still…_

The ominous notions cleared, as the plain Rotom turned towards me. Clearly, it hadn't taken long to come up with a verdict.

Nor did it take long to act on said verdict.

The creature rapidly soared towards me.

I couldn't help flinching. It looked like it was going to smash straight into me.

Instead, it flew slightly past, and turned around again.

It seemed to be waiting for me, and I glanced curiously back.

It must have not realized that I couldn't understand it.

This assumption turned out to be true as I was bombarded by static and chirping. Though the Rotom’s mouth moved, I heard only babble.

_If only I could understand what it was saying!_

_If things had gone my way back at home, I could've…_

But that ability was lost long ago, and to think about it now was no use.

So instead I gazed intently at the Rotom, shaking my head sadly.

The Rotom’s face fell as it glanced at the floor. But sudden as could be, it brightened again.

Before I could ask what was going on, the electricity flared to life. Humming once again filled the air as the Rotom’s two blue lightning bolts glowed. It pointed one at me, almost like a dagger. Again I shrunk back, until I realized what the other lightning bolt was doing.

The Rotom pointed it towards the other side of me.

The bolt was no dagger, but a hand.

Carefully, my eyes followed where it had been pointing, but I couldn't see anything specific in the sea of debris.

I was about to voice my predicament again, but for a second time, the Rotom flew off. I followed it as its light shone like a beacon. Now, I stepped slowly, avoiding falling a second time. Eventually, I heard the Rotom chirping and stopped. The Pokémon pointed, its "hands" still glowing.

I once focused my gaze on where it was pointing, and finally sighed with relief.

There in front of me lay a bunch of empty cardboard boxes. The brown, giant, squares looked like they would be unwieldy, but at that moment, I did not care.

I beamed at the Rotom, and it flashed a smile back. With another chirp, it was gone.

I grabbed one of the open flaps and started dragging the box away.

The professor heard me before he saw me. The sound of the box reached his ears before my steps.

However, that did not prevent him from noticing what happened before I got the box.

“Your cheek… What happened?”

“Oh, I fell. The place is a bit untidy.”

“You're right, I should clean it up. But you should get your cheek treated. The Center’s not far from here.”

“Oh, I know. I was planning to go to the Center anyway.”

“For what? You were just there.”

“There's something else I need, and the Center’s probably the best place for it.”

“All right, but do be careful.”

I resisted the urge to scoff. Why he was telling me to be careful when it was only a short walk away?

I didn't have much time to think that though, as the professor’s gaze shifted to the box I carried.

“I see you found what you were looking for.”

Setting the object down, I nodded.

“I needed help from some Rotom, though.”

“Help from Rotom?”

“Yes. They didn't seem to understand me at first, but I simply asked them where the empty boxes were. They might not be able to comprehend the human language, but they somehow pointed me in the right direction.”

“Well, they might have recognized the term "empty boxes." You know that means something to a Pokémon.”

I’d hoped the professor didn't see me stiffen at that last remark.

_Empty boxes…_

_Like the ones slowly drained of their Pokémon until there was nothing left…_

_Like what I had now…_

But worrying about empty boxes would do nothing. I had to get going.

I acknowledge the professor’s statement with a nod.

“It does. Well, I’d best be going to the Center.”

Without waiting for the professor's reply, I dashed off to the Pokémon Center. Even in daylight, the red roof made it an easy find.

The doors opened wide as they once again admitted me in. The nurse from before was still at the front desk.

“Miss, is there anything you need?”

Concern crossed as her face as she exclaimed.

“Oh, your cheek…”

I rapidly responded. “I took a bad fall. Could you heal me up?”

The nurse nodded, and began talking to someone I couldn’t see.

Within minutes, a Pokémon appeared.

I knew the encounter would be the same every time, yet I always grimaced at what _kind_ Pokémon appeared.

Chansey.

The pink Pokémon was meant to heal, yet now it only brought hurt.

I still remember the day one came to my home…

That day was the end of power and freedom. In its place, dependency.

And here I was again, dependent on one of them.

The Chansey seemed oblivious to my brooding as it walked up. The Pokémon smiled warmly, greeting me a high-pitched voice.

This time, I didn't have the heart to answer back.

Yet this Pokémon needed no answer.

The nurse’s cap on its head made its intentions clear.

And it would carry out those intentions whether I liked it or not.

I heaved a sigh and glanced at the Pokémon before me.

I expected it would use the enormous egg in its pouch. After all, that object was renowned for its healing power. Instead, this Chansey carried a towel, a bandage, some cream I couldn't identify, and a wet washcloth.

The Chansey motioned for me to turn my head, and gently dabbed my injured cheek with the washcloth. There was no pain then, yet I couldn't help wincing when the cream hit my wound. The burning from before burst into an inferno.

It must have been some sort of disinfection cream, yet I still gritted my teeth. Disinfection _was_ necessary, though. Who knew what had been on the floor?

Finally, the Chansey grabbed the bandages and carefully stuck them onto the wound. It fixed me with the same smile before walked away.

At last I was free of the creature!

I could leave the Center now, but there was still something I had to do.

And that was what I'd originally come for.

I made my way over to the nurse’s desk. Before she could ask what I was doing, I bluntly stated my request.

“Excuse me, could I please borrow a blanket?”

“A blanket? What for?”

“Oh, just for an art project. I love art, so there's a project I'm currently interested in.”

“All right, but make sure to bring it back. Blankets are very important to Pokémon Centers, you know.”

“Oh I will. Thank you very much.”

The nurse quickly disappeared behind the desk and returned with a pure white blanket. She handed it to me, and I gingerly hung it over an outstretched arm.

As I left the Center, I couldn't help thinking about my little white lie.

_An art project…_

_To the uninformed, it might as well be one…_

_Then, what I said was no lie, was it?_

I was so absorbed in pondering my previous actions that I barely noticed when I reached the Lab again.

The professor’s greeting was the only thing that snapped me back to reality.

“Oh, you’re back. And I see you've been patched up.”

I nodded. “Thankfully, the injury wasn't that severe.”

The professor's eyes wandered over to the blanket I held.

“Is that from the Center?”

“Yes, it is.” I responded as I dropped the blanket down into the box I’d picked.

While the professor’s question was clear, confusion still laced his voice.

“So that's one of the steps in your tradition you mentioned before?”

I made a mental note to kindly re-explain things later on. It was only fair for someone as respected as the professor.

For now, I replied.

“Indeed. There's still some more boxes I need to get from here though.”

Perhaps too confused to ask another question, the professor simply replied.

“Very well, but try be more cautious.”

I nodded. Quickness was not worth another injury.

With that, I darted back to the storage room. This time, the Rotom did not appear. Luckily, I did not need their help.

I gazed over the sea of boxes again, and immediately grabbed the flaps of two more. They were smaller than the one I had gone before, and I could drag them out of the room together.

I dropped the boxes off next to their larger companion. Even though I'd gotten everything from the lab, there was still the matter what to do with it.

I had to get the boxes and blanket to the area of the ceremony. However, there was the matter of order. I would have to make two trips, no matter what. If I took the bigger box, I'd be able to start right away. However, the smaller two were easier to carry.

And time was of the essence.

I turned towards the smaller two boxes, about to seize the flaps. However, a hand touched my shoulder.

I rapidly whirled around and came face-to-face with the professor.

“Pardon me, but what are you doing with the boxes?”

“Oh, I just need to take them to the place where I am performing the ceremony. It's just a little ways out of town.”

Suddenly, his eyes hardened. For once, I couldn't guess his thoughts.

“You're not planning to go out alone, are you?”

That was all he said, but I heard much more.

I couldn't stop myself from stiffening again.

_To talk about going with others meant…_

_No, I couldn't do that, not after what happened…_

Despite the situation, I answered confidently.

“Well, I really don't have anyone else. And I got here just fine, so what's the problem?”

The professor's eyes narrowed even more, and it took all my strength to meet his gaze.

His next words made my blood run cold.

“You, of all people, should know that it is dangerous to go out without a Pokémon.”

**Author's notes:**

**-The scene with Rotom and the machines has to do with an event in-game. From Pokémon Platinum on, Rotom can transform into a variety of different forms. It can do this by interacting with certain boxes that are full of machines. These forms each come with their own signature move, and later in later games, a different type. The forms the protagonist sees are all the different forms of Rotom.**

**-The reason the professor has all the machine parts and the transformed Rotom actually has to do with the Hoenn game remakes (Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire). In these games, Rotom can transform by interacting with boxes in Professor Birch’s lab.**

**In Pokémon Platinum, these boxes are in a warehouse instead. However, this story has them in the lab because its protagonist is unlikely to visit the place where they would normally be (and thus would not remember her Pokémon).**

**-In the anime, most Pokémon speak a language of their own name. However, in the games, most make noises similar to animals. I decided to go with latter interpretation for the story.**

**-Pokémon Centers being able to treat people is actually based off of the anime. In the anime, it is shown the Pokémon Centers can do basic medical treatments on people. While Pokémon Centers never seen treating human injuries in the games, I figured it would make sense for them to treat some things, with all the Trainers coming and going.**


	3. Flashback

3: Flashback

The words stuck in my throat like needles.

This time, I couldn't stop myself from visibly shaking. I didn't doubt the professor saw me, but he made no comments on the involuntary movement.

_Of course I understood it was dangerous to go outside town without a Pokémon…_

_Most of what was there was more of their kind…_

_And yet…_

_I couldn't have a Pokémon…_

_Not after that disastrous journey…_

_I couldn't train again, only to watch everything fall apart for second a time…_

I glanced upward, realizing I was staring straight at the professor.

He didn't seem the least bit perturbed as he continued. “Well, don't you agree?”

I answered more hesitantly.

“If I have Pokémon, I'm only going to see them fail again. I'm better off without them. Like I said, I made it here just fine.”

The professor's eyes went wide, but he was rapidly ready with a retort.

“What you _did_ was incredibly dangerous! What if you had gotten attacked? You could've been hurt, or worse!”

I tried to keep my composure, but my body betrayed me.

My face paled, and tremors racked my entire body.

One would've thought an Ice type had seized control the lab.

And while my body moved on its own, my mind followed suit.

_I was back where I'd been just moments ago, in the room with the Rotom. However, this time there was no chirping and curious static. Instead, only piercing glares that seemed to cut straight into me._

_Blue eyes threatened to drown me, and red ones burned with rage. Fan blades spun, ready to slice. The lawnmower roared a battle cry, and the scent of grass nearly choked me. The frigid air was so cold I thought I would freeze solid, yet nothing could stop the menacing creature who summoned it. The unspeakable fury in its eyes matched the air it expelled, and I couldn't help but shiver. Whether it was from the air or from my own fear, I did not know._

_I probably wouldn't live long enough to find out anyway._

_Without warning, one of the Pokémon flew towards me. It was the one who was rather plain, but this time, there was no harmless examining. The ghostly ball shot out from it, flying straight towards me._

_I had no time to dodge, and my vision filled with the ominous darkness._

_However, I was dimly aware of the ground hurtling towards me for a second time._

_I once again crashed to the ground, and I swore I could hear the crash echo._

_Yet no one came._

_I had to do what little I could._

_The slight burning in my cheek had turned into a raging hellfire. My senses were in full force now, as the rest of my body screamed in pain._

_I bit back the urge to cry._

_All my traveling, for nothing!_

_Yet maybe I could still fight…_

_I instinctively tried to scramble to my feet, it yet the task impossible._

_This body would not obey my commands, no matter how much I ordered it to. The pain from before had mysteriously vanished, yet I knew this was anything but a good thing._

_I was alerted to humming and crackling, and winced as my (no, her) body stood up on end._

_I couldn't move, yet the prickles of dread made it feel as though I was endlessly shaking._

_There was no doubt as to what could be causing my distress._

_Yet I still believed it couldn't be true._

_I had to confirm it._

_At least I could still lift my head up._

_Maybe it would have been better if I hadn't._

_For facing me was lurid blue eyes, fierce enough to seemingly scorch anything. The owner, the plain Rotom, radiated whitish-yellow with electricity._

_The radiance became even more intense, and if I could've, I would've shielded my eyes. Yet I could do nothing about being almost blinded as the Pokémon shot rings of yellow. I had just enough time to utter a gasp before I slammed back onto the ground._

_Lying in my crumpled heap, I was aware of the sharp pain that now stabbed at the back of my forehead. The stabbing pain immediately enveloped the rest of me, and I couldn't stop the tears from falling down my face._

_The Rotom showed no sympathy, eyes glaring as it hovered over me._

_The blinding light made a second entrance. It materialized into a lightning bolt as the Rotom launched its attack._

_I could only stare wide-eyed as I was about to meet my fate._

_I would be destroyed by electricity, completely helpless…_

_Just like…_

_Just like…_

_Them…_

_Them…_

_That's right. My Pokémon…_

_I was at the lab because of my Pokémon…_

_My Pokémon…_

_How could I think about my Pokémon if I was dead?_

_Such was impossible, which meant…_

I couldn't finish the thought before I was jerked back to the present.

I wasn't dead.

Yet I probably looked like death.

Or least I looked awkward.

There could be no other reason why the professor was trying hard not to stare at me.

I bit my lip.

The hopeless fight against the Rotom was all my mind’s illusion, and yet…

The scene could have been real… Could've happened in an instant…

There could've been no curiosity, no careful examination... Only unbridled aggression, and a painful, foolish, end.

Yes, I understood why the professor wanted me to carry Pokémon.

Yet that didn't make the task any easier.

For Pokémon were still reminders of my failure.

I turned to face the professor, my face still pale.

He did not respond, as though waiting for me to say something.

Yet I did not reply. Could not reply.

How could I voice my concerns after the cruel trick my mind played?

The professor may not have known what was happening inside my mind, but at least he seemed to notice my distress.

His eyes softened while his voice remained firm.

“I know this brings you unpleasant feelings… However, failed journey or not, I can't let a competent Trainer die on my watch.”

I simply nodded, and he added. “You know the reason I let you go on that journey in the first place was because I knew you weren't one for recklessness.”

Emotion won out again as I stiffened and balled my _(no, her)_ hand into a fist.

_Of course he would refer to that time…_

_The moment when it all started…_

_I didn't want to remember…_

_No, I wouldn't remember…_

_Not as long as I could help it…_

_Yet I couldn't help thinking one thing…_

_How ironic that a journey with a cautious start would be thwarted by a reckless end…_

_Surely the professor knew all this?_

I was about to voice my thoughts, yet the professor simply gestured. He headed towards another part of the lab, and I had no choice but to follow.

After what seemed like forever, the professor eventually halted. I knew all too well of the rotating Poké Ball machine. After all, it was what most new Trainers used, and I may as well have been a new Trainer. I expected to see the familiar machine here, yet that was not what greeted me.

Instead, the professor stood beside a small computer, not unlike the one I'd encountered at the front of the lab. Gesturing for me to wait beside him, the professor turned towards the machine.

Clicks filled the air as the professor began typing commands. Within minutes, the clicks were replaced by high-pitched noises as the computer booted itself.

As an image flashed on the screen, the professor turned to me.

“You still have your badges, don't you?”

I nodded, grimacing.

“And your Trainer’s license?”

Another nod.

“Good.”

As an image flashed on the screen, I whipped out my badge case. The rectangular item easily clicked open, despite being dusty from misuse. The top of the box popped up, hiding the computer screen from view.

I took a moment to gaze at the contents of the dark blue box. The objects within had been collected at least a month ago, yet they still were shining as if I'd just gotten them. I gingerly touched each one in turn.

The treasure chest, belonging to the user of Rock types… The trees of the forest, commanded by the Trainer of Grass… The badge from the brawler with Fighting types… The silver lake, home to the masked Water master… The phantom fire surrounding the woman who was one with Ghosts… The miner’s pickaxe and the clanging Steel types... The cold mountains, perfect for the frigid ice types…

Yet after that, I only touched an outline…

Fingers hit the center of the outline, and I recoiled.

An empty shape where the final badge should have been…

_The final badge…_

_Even though I had never received it, I knew what it was…_

_The lighthouse, powered by the wielder of Electric types…_

_The beacon that seemed right within my reach…_

_Yet it faded away within minutes…_

_And my journey along with it…_

Rapidly, I slammed the badge case shut.

I could bear no more grim reminders.

But it seemed that the reminders were not finished with me.

I glanced up as the high-pitched noises grew even louder. The computer roared to life, its light flashing again. I began stepping forward, but stopped dead.

My eyes immediately darted to a different light, one was now glowing in the professor's outstretched hand. The light took the shape of six white orbs, and the professor appeared to be nodding to someone I couldn't see.

My eyes went wide.

A month ago, I’d done the same process as the professor. And though it had been a while since that time, I still instinctively knew what the orbs would turn into.

In minutes, the white orbs materialized. In their place were six red and white capsules.

I hadn't seen these capsules in a while, yet I knew their name like I knew my own.

Poké Balls.

_Poké Balls…_

_The items that started me on the entire journey…_

_The things that signified the beginning of the end…_

_And the Pokémon within them…_

_Did they see excitement at a Poké Ball thrown by powerful Trainer?_

_Or did see only regret and despair, chained to someone who had failed them?_

_Unlikely that anyone would be able to answer that now._

I was snapped out of my trance by the professor walking towards me. He held his head high, clearly not affected by despair.

Yet as he advanced, I trembled.

The Pokémon… They may have been inside their balls, but I knew what they represented.

_The ability to defeat almost any opponent…_

_The skill needed to defend oneself…_

_The capacity to travel safely…_

_The chance at gaining fame and fortune…_

_The possibility of encountering countless new friends…_

_And memories of a time where I had all of that…_

_I didn't think the professor would give me Pokémon after I had failed on my journey…_

_Let alone Pokémon with such strength…_

_This must be an error…_

I forced myself to relax. It wouldn't do to ask such an important question while trembling like a leaf.

I met the professor's gaze squarely as he stopped in front of me.

“Six powerful Pokémon? Isn't that a bit much?”

There was no missing the sadness in the professor's voice as he replied.

“No, unfortunately. You may have stopped that treacherous Team Galactic, but many of their higher members are still at large. And their leader, Cyrus... He may be in that other world, but if he decides to return here, there's no telling what he might do.”

The professor narrowed his eyes, a grave expression crossing his face.

“This region needs to be as strong as you once were, if not stronger.”

I nodded. “I understand, and thank you.”

The professor handed me the Poké Balls, and I attached them to my belt. As the professor turned away, he responded “I wish you luck.”

I nodded again. I'd need all the luck I could get.

Rapidly, I grabbed the flaps of the boxes I'd meant to take before. Without another look back, I headed outside.

Once there, my eyes wandered to a single location.

It was one that still sent shudders down my back.

The route to the south.

_The area that held so many awful memories…_

_A land of hopeful starts, and crushing ends…_

I gritted my teeth.

I may not have wanted to go there, but it was the only fitting place for the ceremony.

I would have to bear the pain of my earlier memories, in the name of the ones who had shared that pain.

And so I proceeded.

The journey was rather quiet, save for the sound of my pounding steps and the boxes being dragged behind me.

After I was a safe distance away from the town, I ground to a halt.

It was time to break the silence.

I seized the six Poké Balls, flinging them into the air.

One by one, the capsules opened.

White light erupted from them, and six Pokémon were standing before me.

The first, a turtle with trees on it back. The trees were surrounded by a green and brown shell, and I was met with intimidating black eyes. Even more frightening were the spikes that jutted out of the Pokémon's face. Its legs seemed stubby, but I knew strength was hidden within them.

Just like I knew this Pokémon's name.

Torterra.

As the Pokémon eyed me warily, I focused my attention on another.

This Pokémon glowed with the flame on its head. Yellow eyes held a piercing gaze, and its body was poised to strike. Muscles rippled beneath its brown and white fur, yet the Pokémon's limbs were wiry.

A name came to my lips.

Infernape.

Yet the next Pokémon would not be outdone by its companion. The Pokémon boasted a golden crown, with dark black fins. On its body were stripes of blue, one of which looked like a tie. White in the middle resembled a tuxedo. The only thing that stood out was its orange feet. The Pokémon stood tall and proud, regal to be sure.

And the regal Pokémon had a regal name.

Empoleon.

These Pokémon held special meaning to Trainers, I knew.

For they were what every Trainer in Sinnoh looked forward to.

The final evolution of their starter Pokémon.

Of course, the professor kept a myriad of their unevolved cousins. It made sense that he would have the final forms.

Not to mention that Empoleon could carry me over water, so it also served a practical purpose.

But that left the other three.

I glanced at the first one as I was alerted to its screeching. Clearly skill was needed to train this Pokémon. It screeched again, piercing red eyes glaring defiantly. The eyes belonged to a head held high, with a face covered in white feathers. Jagged black feathers edged their way across the Pokémon's middle. Below that, feathers of gray. All this sat above a red comb shaped like a rooster’s.

Sunlight glittered off of a beak and talons so sharp, I thought they could pierce me right there.

I didn't dare say the Pokémon's name, yet I knew what it was.

Staraptor.

Of course the professor would give me a bird.

If I wanted to complete the journey, I had to rapidly fly between towns.

Yet I couldn't continue to focus on this proud Pokémon.

So instead, I cast my gaze onto the next one.

Yet, in terms of intimidation, it was not to be outdone by its compatriot.

This Pokémon's ears swiveled madly, its own red eyes burning fiercely. Instead of a red crest there was a black slanted head. The creature let out no screeches, but simply continued fixing me with its glare. A massive black paw struck forward, followed by other blue ones. Sunlight reflected off of a black body, and matched its star shaped tail.

The Pokémon appeared to be sizing me up. Did it think of me as prey?

I didn't know what it thought I was, but I knew what it was supposed to be.

Again, the Pokémon's name was on the tip of my tongue, yet I refused to say it.

Luxray.

It would make sense to have one of these beasts with me.

Luxray were well known for being able to see in the dark. And I would need that vision if I wanted to move at night.

Perhaps the professor also thought having a Luxray would save me from any electrical outages.

Not that it helped me the last time I had one.

Finally, I turned away from the Luxray and my gaze drifted to the last Pokémon.

Unlike the last two with their intimidating stances, this one stared at me curiously.

It pointed the spoons in its hands at me, yet they did nothing. Either I was resistant to its power (which I highly doubted) or it had no intent of attacking. Nevertheless, the Pokémon’s black eyes went on staring. The yellow face showed confusion. The whiskers below it twitched back and forth. Brown clothing on the head, torso, and shoulder contrasted with its yellow body. The Pokémon must've worn them for ages, yet the clothes showed no sign of dirt.

No matter what the Pokémon's condition was, its appearance made me want to say one word.

Alakazam.

It would make sense that the professor would give me a Psychic type. I could use it to make contact remotely.

Or perhaps the professor just wanted to know what on earth was in my head.

If I had my way, he wouldn't know a thing.

But I couldn't blame him for his curiosity.

Enough thinking about the professor.

He wasn't here.

Instead, there were six Pokémon standing before me.

_Six Pokémon…_

_Just like before…_

_Except it wasn't._

_For these Pokémon were nothing like the team I remembered…_

_The fire monkey rippled with strength, yet couldn't be compared to the lithe fireball I'd travelled with. I could see her now, flaming fangs ready to tear into opponents. Even the fastest Pokémon were no match for her, as she dodged their attacks and retaliated with brutal force._

_Could this Pokémon does the same?_

_I doubted it._

_And it wasn't just that creature._

_Could a lion stand up to a motor?_

_It might be able to take it down with rapid bites, but what if the motor got to it first?_

_I could see the motor now, hurling ghostly blobs. The lion may have been able to see in the dark, but it couldn’t do anything when the darkness slammed straight into it._

_Yes, the lion stood no chance, as the light bulb chirped triumphantly._

_The lion may have stood no chance, but what about the bird?_

_It wasn't like I had a bird when my journey ended…_

_Yet I wielded the power of a god, one that towered over a mere mortal bird._

_Said bird could only tremble in fear as the god left it in its wake. It was clearly a mismatch._

_Perhaps the penguin could help its doomed cousin…_

_But it had to take down a fearsome otter._

_The otter’s Surf threatened to wash everything away as the two became locked in combat._

_They were so focused they couldn't see the other battle raging on in front of them._

_The battle between those of the forest._

_For it wasn't two tortoises that fought, but rather a tortoise and a flytrap._

_The tortoise slammed its feet into the ground, but the flytrap sailed over the tremors. The tortoise shot out its vines, and the flytrap responded in kind. Within seconds the two clashed, no winner clear._

_And yet somehow, I thought the tortoise would fall._

_But there was one left. One whose equivalent I did not carry._

_And that was the Psychic type._

_So instead of facing an equal, the Psychic type faced a bug._

_With narrowed eyes, the bug drew in for a bite._

_It only recoiled at the last second as it dodged flailing, fiery, fists._

_Quick as lightning, the bug recovered. In an instant, it swung to the side, ready for another strike._

_The Psychic type prepared to telepathically lift it up in the air, and the bug was quickly trapped by its opponent’s energy._

_The Psychic type wasted no time in slamming the bug onto the floor._

_Rapidly, the bug picked itself up from the floor._

_The bug didn't waste a second as it threw itself at its opponent._

_In another, it slammed into the psychic type._

_The psychic type roared in pain, but the bug showed no mercy with its repeated strikes._

_It was clear who had the advantage._

_Not just in the fight with the bug, but in all the fights._

_Yes, it was obvious that this team had no chance compared to the one I had used._

_But it did me no good to make comparisons now._

_I had to think of the Pokémon of the present, not of the past._

I let my mind return to them.

The Pokémon still stared at me. The Infernape, Luxray, and Staraptor continued fixing me with fiery glares. The Luxray had put all four of its gigantic paws forward. I strained my ears, and swore I could hear a warning hiss. The Alakazam and Emopoleon still seemed confused, yet they tensed upon meeting my gaze.

It was as if they were ready for battle this very moment.

I couldn't blame them. Who wouldn't be suspicious after being brought before a total stranger?

I resisted the urge to run away.

Was the horrible vision I had about come true?

But even with this body, I would be no match for such highly trained Pokémon…

No, I wouldn't run away. I couldn't cower before these Pokémon.

If I did, my fear really would be realized.

I forced myself to meet their gazes squarely.

“Hello, I understand you may be confused, so please allow me to introduce myself. I am a Trainer on a journey, and a friend of the professor’s. He was concerned about me going alone, so he sent you with me.”

I tried not to let my nervousness show.

Would these Pokémon understand what I was saying? It's not like I could truly communicate to them anymore…

Suddenly, the Luxray roared, and I cringed. The roar seemed like it could have shaken the entire area, and I was glad there wasn't anyone here.

The Luxray must've been the leader, for when it moved, all of the other Pokémon advanced. No caution or curiosity was present in their eyes, only proud determination and blazing hostility.

I had to think of something. It was clear I couldn't talk to them normally.

Suddenly, words echoed in my head.

_You still have your badges, don't you?_

My badges…

Yes, they were the only thing that could save me now.

Faster than I ever knew I could move, I whipped out my badge case.

I undid the lock without even registering what I had done. The case fell open, sun shining on its contents.

One glance at the badges made the creatures stop dead. Now _they_ were the ones backing away.

Their faces now were a mix of shock, confusion, and fear.

Of course the badges would pacify them. The Pokémon may have belonged to a professor, but they understood what the objects meant.

All trained Pokémon did.

As the Pokémon glanced up at me, I continued staring straight back. My gaze was as hard as rock, and my voice devoid of warmth.

“I'm glad you understand now.”

Fishing out the Poké Balls, I flatly commanded. “Return.”

The Pokémon did not protest as they disappeared within flashes of red light.

Yet as I turned away, I couldn't help cringing.

Had I ever spoken to a Pokémon like that before?

Would I continue treating them like that?

What would become of me if I did?

I had no more time to ponder as a picked up the boxes again and continued walking.

Yet Pokémon weren’t the only danger, it seemed.

Perhaps because of the earlier conflict, I did not watch my step.

The grass that had tickled my legs before now ensnared me.

I had no time to react as the ground hurtled towards me.

Once again, I slammed down onto the ground. Instead of being greeted by floor tile, dirt flew up into my face. I coughed and sputtered as the foreign substance found its way into my mouth. The scent of grass soared up my nose, and I resisted the urge to sneeze. I was no longer in the presence of a living lawnmower, but the scent was just as potent.

At least there wasn't any burning pain in my cheek.

Anything to avoid the wretched Chansey.

Yet still, curse my ill luck! To nearly get attacked, and then to fall twice! And to be no closer to my goal!

I took a deep breath, and a single word shot out of my mouth.

“¡Chispas!”

My eyes suddenly went wide.

I couldn't believe what I’d just said.

Of course, no one here would know what that word meant.

But I knew.

_It meant…_

_It meant…_

A rustling in the grass drove the dark thoughts away.

Of course no one could _understand_ me, but there was no indicator that no one _heard_ me.

And here I was, lying defenseless. Again.

I tried fumbling for the Pokémon, but to no avail. My current position made it too difficult.

I had to get up…

I had to…

But it was too late.

A Pokémon appeared, plodding over to investigate.

I froze, my face blanching white.

It was a Bidoof.

_A Bidoof…_

_Just like…_

_Just like…_

_I had to get away…_

_I couldn't be tortured by those memories…_

Yet I also couldn’t move, frozen by the same memories.

Perhaps it was better. The Pokémon might take the movement as a sign to attack.

Thankfully, there was no hostility in this Pokémon’s eyes, only curiosity. It reminded me of Rotom at the lab.

And just like them, this Bidoof had no interest in attacking. Instead, it sniffed my head, then quickly hopped to my sides. It continued sniffing and hopping, examining every inch of me.

Finally, it dashed into the grass.

I let out a breath I didn't realize I'd been holding.

_It was gone._

_It was gone._

Slowly, I stood up, careful not to crash again.

Yet my legs still wobbled, and the rest of my body shook just as much.

I didn't pay much attention to the dirt all over my body or the grass that clung to my legs.

I couldn't.

Instead, I stared straight ahead.

_The Bidoof was gone, wasn't it?_

_No, it wasn't really gone._

_Chispas._

_Why did I keep using that word? It only made the memories worse…_

_Bidoof…_

_Chispas…_

_Bidoof…_

_Chispas…_

Of course I would be reminded…

Enough of that.

I had to keep going…

Yet I couldn't.

Now the flashbacks refused to stop.

They overtook me like a flood.

A flood in which I was drowning.

There was nothing I could do to keep myself afloat.

Except stand there.

And remember.


	4. The First Encounter

**Welcome to the next chapter of The Altar. As always, I don't own Pokémon, and see the author’s notes for details.**

**Enjoy!**

4: The First Encounter

I stood in the grass, staring into the distance.

_Remember… Remember…_

_There were so many memories…_

_And yet I could only think of one word._

_Chispas._

_A symbol of one of the few talents I had left…_

_The word that had blown my cover…_

_And the name belonging to the deadly game’s first victim…_

I may have been standing in the grass, yet, in truth, I couldn't have been further away.

My mind had whisked back in time, and there was nothing I could do to stop it…

So I simply let it have its way.

And remembered.

Route 203 may not have been the bustling city of Jublife, but it was still brimming with life. Oh, there were few Trainers standing in the place, but that wasn't what I was after.

No, the "life" I wanted was the Pokémon.

As the sun rose, so did the Starly.

Joyous chirps filled the air, and sunlight streamed onto the creatures.

It revealed that the birds gently sat on tree branches. There were so many was impossible to count them all. Many branches had multiple, the birds closely sitting together. Occasionally, the Starly would shift and hop from one section of the branches to the other.

It was as if they were waiting for something.

Suddenly, the something came.

It wasn't obvious what that something was, but somehow, the Starly knew.

One by one, they all opened their beaks.

From there, the birds’ songs flowed.

Their songs resembled a choir, and it was as if they were singing to please the sun.

It seemed as the songs would go on forever, but eventually, each beak clacked shut.

The Pokémon flew off, gray feathers fluttering to the ground.

No one knew where they were going, but the birds were probably pursuing the Kricketot crawling on the ground.

The bugs made their own song. The Kricketots’ music resembled xylophones, and they accompanied the birds perfectly.

The bug Pokémon stumbled around, their feelers ringing as they picked themselves up.

As the song of the birds and bugs filled the area, it seemed like there was nothing else around.

Yet that was not the case.

A Shinx dashed up. It glanced around wildly before charging straight into the grass. A Bidoof proceeded more cautiously. It carefully weaved around obstacles, before following the Shinx. Near where the two Pokémon had gone, the distant sound of flowing water could be heard.

The only creature that wasn't full of life seemed to be the Abras. They slept peacefully while others moved around them. Yet, occasionally, psychic power would surround the Pokémon. Within an instant, one or more would disappear.

Yes, every Pokémon seem to be full of life.

And that was what I was interested in.

So it was a Pokémon I would have.

After all, the rules of the game said I could catch one.

Through the grass I lumbered, eyes scanning for any possible new teammates. Unfortunately, none of these Pokémon looked very interested in me. They were all too busy frolicking about, minding their own business.

I wasn't about to force an encounter.

That was just cruel.

I continued stepping through the route, the familiar grass brushing against my legs.

I glanced in every direction, restlessly searching for any Pokémon that wished to fight.

Yet there was nothing, except those preoccupied with peace.

I scowled.

Surely there was at least one Pokémon that wanted to fight! Fighting was in their nature!

Suddenly, a light glowed in the distance.

I rapidly focused my gaze. Although I could barely see it flickering, the light appeared to be from a Psychic Pokemon. I could tell from its iconic blue color.

And I knew that the light meant power.

There was only one species of Psychic Pokémon on the route, and it was heralded as one of the strongest Trainers could have.

A wide grin crossed my face, and I took off in a run.

Soon, that power would be mine!

And there was no doubt who it belonged to.

The Pokémon could be none other than the one with the yellow body and the brown shirt. The creature slept on, blissfully unaware of my approach. Its striped tail waved in the air while it slept.

The Abra couldn't be more oblivious.

But I sure wasn't.

I resembled a madwoman as I continued to grin and run.

Oh, how easily I would win the game once I'd gotten this Pokémon!

There were few could match its final form’s might. And those who could were easily destroyed by others. Even then, the psychic Pokémon always managed to leave a mark.

Yes, the game would be mine along with the Pokémon.

I slowed my pace as I approached my target. I wanted to engage it, but best not to fight too soon…

Abra were known for running away. If this one fled all would be for nothing…

The madwoman’s grin left my face as I carefully approached the Pokémon. The creature still didn't give any indication that it had seen me.

However, I couldn't let my guard down.

Another thing Abra were known for was trickery.

I stealthily crept closer, never taking my eyes off the target. As I continued, I took the time to size up every possible angle of attack.

I couldn’t afford mistakes. Abra were so skilled at fleeing, most Trainers only got one chance.

Yet before it could make any moves, there was a flicker of movement in the bushes.

The Abra glowed with the blue psychic power, and I resisted the urge to scream.

This time, the power meant nothing good.

In a heartbeat, the Abra vanished, not even leaving a footstep behind.

Before I could even scowl, the bushes rustled again.

They parted to reveal a Pokémon resembling a beaver. Its buck teeth hung out in some sort of smile, and its brown fur contrasted against the green scenery. The Pokémon didn't quite have a beaver’s tail, but instead sported a puffy brown appendage.

My manic smile from before was replaced by a glare that was hard as stone.

A Bidoof.

A Bidoof had scared my catch away.

A Bidoof had made everything be for nothing.

One of the most powerful Psychic Pokémon was replaced by something whose only true purpose was to ferry Trainers around.

I clenched my fist.

I could not stop myself from screaming to the sky as a single word flew of my mouth.

“¡Chispas!”

The Bidoof must have sensed my frustration, for it backed away fearfully.

Yet, it locked eyes with me, and its demeanor changed.

It stood tall, or as tall a Bidoof could. The fright in eyes was replaced by a newfound fierceness.

No hesitation was present as it glared back at me.

Perhaps my aggression from before had awakened an inner desperation.

Or maybe the Pokémon finally realized it needed to defend itself.

Regardless, the Bidoof clearly wanted a battle, and a battle was what it would get.

I grabbed a Poké Ball, capsule shining in my hand.

“Go, Pajara!”

I threw the ball, and there was a flash of white. A little bird appeared, standing on the ground. It was identical to the ones that had sang earlier that morning.

But there was no singing now.

Instead, the bird chirped a defiant battle cry, staring straight at the Bidoof.

I nodded.

“You know what to do.”

As the battle begun, I winced.

_Even after all this time, it was still so odd giving commands to Pokémon._

_Gone were the days that I was truly one with them._

_Now I could watch only from a distance._

_The least I could do was keep the awkward commands concise._

Paraja dove at blinding speed, faster than her target could react.

Within an instant, she slammed into the Bidoof.

The Bidoof skidded into the grass, but got to its feet.

It clumsily charged in retaliation, but Pajara was ready.

She flew away before the Bidoof hit, attack missing her by inches.

I smiled.

As long as she was in the air, Pajara would be fine. She let out another fearsome cry, before diving in for another strike.

But this time, it was the Bidoof who was prepared.

As Pajara neared, it intercepted her. Its body slammed straight into her, knocking her back.

The Bidoof quickened its charge, and Pajara was too stunned from the previous blow to react.

She lay on her back, looking almost lifeless.

However, I caught faint movements, and knew she could still fight.

But it might not have been enough, as Bidoof took a giant leap.

Feathers met fur, and it landed on top of Pajara.

She let out a screech as the Bidoof pinned her to the ground.

The life returned her eyes as she began to struggle.

Her wings and talons flailed, but it clearly wasn't enough.

The Bidoof simply hunkered down, ramming into her again and again.

I suppressed an urge to shudder.

_Would I lose Paraja this day?_

_And if so, what would I do without her?_

Thankfully, I didn't have to answer that question now.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw one of Pajara’s talons smash into her opponent’s fur.

It wasn't enough to do damage, yet the Bidoof flinched and stepped back.

Pajara made her move.

She flew off so quickly that a pile of feathers could be seen on the ground. The Bidoof tried to lunge at her, but she was well out of its reach.

However, it was only in safety that I saw the extent of Pajara’s injuries.

Bruises littered her graceful body, and brief flickers of pain entered her eyes. She was flying lopsided now, right wing constantly dipping towards the ground. Paraja was so off-balance, it looked as though she would plunge to the ground again.

I had to act quickly.

“Pajara, take it by surprise! Finish this now!”

A fire burned in Pajara’s eyes as she sped off.

She had to win this for me.

And she wasn't about to waste any time.

The Bidoof tried to ram her again as she soared low. Luckily, she dodged to the side. The Bidoof’s eyes went wide as Pajara made a sharp turn.

There was no place for it to go as she appeared from behind.

Without hesitation, Pajara slammed into the Bidoof. The creature went flying, finally landing with a loud crash.

It showed no signs of getting up.

The battle was won.

Yet this was no time to celebrate.

Pajara crashed to the ground too. And this time, all the eagerness in the world couldn't save her.

Another red and white sphere appeared in my hand. I enlarged it, and then tossed the sphere at the Bidoof. It struck the creature dead center, before hungrily zapping it up in red light. The exhausted Pokémon didn't even try to struggle, and the light on the Poké Ball immediately signaled it was caught.

I fished out another Poké Ball, and I walked over to my fallen Pokémon.

The little bird lay crumbled in a heap, yet she could still smile at me.

“You did well. I will make sure you get the rest you deserve at the Center.”

Pajara chirped happily as she was recalled.

My eyes hardened as I turned to the other Poké Ball.

I picked it up, my remaining hand making a fist.

I couldn't open it while the Pokémon inside was injured. Yet I could still talk to the occupant.

I turned the Poké Ball around in my hand, focusing on the white button.

There, I knew the Bidoof could hear the word I growled.

“Chispas…”

I unclenched my fist and made a beeline to Jublife’s Pokémon Center.

The familiar grass tried to ensnare me, but it was met with no success.

I was moving so fast I couldn't even feel it.

At least until the soft whisper of steps in the grass was replaced with the incessant pounding of the same steps on pavement.

I skidded to a stop.

I had to be careful. Falling would only make the journey longer.

Then all my rushing from before would be for nothing.

I glanced at my surroundings, taking the time to catch my breath.

A large apartment building almost towered over everything. Its brown walls welcomed me in, but it was not the main attraction of the city.

No, that honor belonged to many other buildings, and I was never entirely sure which one.

Jublife’s TV station stood proudly, a giant likeness of their machines plastered on top of the building.

Catchy tunes blared while colorful screens flashed. I wasn't close enough to recognize anything, but I had no doubt they attracted attention.

The massive influx of people heading inside the building proved that.

As did the equally massive amount of people exiting, carrying the giant machines.

I sighed.

_Giant machines…_

_Giant machines…_

How I both loved and loathed them!

They were the constant reminder that I was trapped within my true body.

And that I was also trapped in a life of dependency.

I needed those machines for even the simplest of tasks.

And they never let me forget it.

But I suppose I should be thankful.

It was because of a giant machine that I was able to come here in the first place.

Of course, that machine was more like the TVs the people carried than the ones that enslaved my true body.

But it didn't matter.

In the end, they were both the same thing.

And I was still dependent.

But then, perhaps I wasn't the only one dependent on machines. There couldn't be any greater example than the Pokétech building left of the TV center.

Almost every Trainer had a Pokétech. No, almost every _person_ had one.

With all its features, why wouldn't they?

It could be a watch... A step counter… A way to help with berries… Even breeders used it to check on their Pokémon Eggs…

Yes, this the people truly were dependent on machines.

And I doubt they realized what that meant.

I shook my head.

I couldn't think those thoughts right now. I had places to go.

As I walked further into the city, I noticed a giant satellite orbiting on the top of a building.

I was surprised it was still functioning.

After all, the Global Trade Station had moved activity to other regions long ago.

But the building still stood, its blue outside spotless and shining.

One would never guess that the building’s services had been inactive for many years.

It stood as a reminder of the past. The Global Trade Station symbolized the days when Trainers all over the world would regularly communicate, right here in the city.

Yet now no one communicated, instead preferring other lands.

But the building still stood.

I had no idea why the owners wanted to keep a building that was no longer useful.

Perhaps they still ran their operations from there. Or maybe they kept it up as a sign of respect. Sinnoh was the first region that introduced such technology, after all.

_Technology…_

_Technology…_

_Another thing I was dependent on, even in this body._

_The Poketech around my wrist proved that._

_There were some things I just could not escape._

I began a brisk walk south as I fought to put the thoughts out of my head. The Pokémon Center was somewhere nearby, after I visited it, my time in the city could be finished.

But I couldn't get to the Center without noticing the building next to it.

The Trainer’s School.

Many people hated it. But for me, it meant happier times.

Times of acceptance. Of normalcy.

I pictured the novice trainers rushing into the school, wide-eyed and innocent.

Yet even though I was just beginning this journey, I was not among them.

I didn't even have the Pokémon I started with.

_Pokémon…_

_Pokémon…_

That's right.

I still had to heal the ones I did have.

With that, I made a sharp turn right, dashing into the Center.

Yet I was not alone.

The Center was jampacked with people, to the point where I found it hard to breathe.

And most of them were those novice trainers, terrified upon seeing Pokémon seriously hurt for the first time.

The wild Pokémon of the route were treacherous. And they only got worse from here on out. I wondered how many of those Trainers would continue on.

But I couldn't worry too much about them.

After all, I had my own Pokémon to help.

I shoved my way to the front desk of the Center. A nurse was on duty there, and a look of surprise crossed her face.

However, she quickly recovered.

The nurse’s surprise was replaced with her usual friendliness and concern.

“Oh hello, are you all right? You look as though something is worrying you.”

It was only then when I realized the frown on my face.

I must have still been concerned about the battle with the Bidoof…

Or angry at it.

I hoped the nurse missed me stiffening.

_I couldn't let her figure out what else was going on! Trainers were supposed to treat all Pokémon with respect!_

_And I knew I hadn't done that with my new catch._

Rapidly, I responded.

“There was a tough battle, and my Pokémon are hurt. Could you heal them?”

The nurse glanced over my shoulder, and I could see she was observing all the trainers waiting for healing. I glanced behind me, flinching at their angry glares.

I _had_ been rather rude, and each Trainer considered their Pokémon the most important.

I hoped I looked convincing enough for her to take me before the others.

Maybe it was to my advantage if she had seen me stiffen.

Regardless of what the nurse saw, I must've looked convincing.

A wide smile crossed her face and she nodded.

“Of course.” Her smile faded a bit and she added.

“But please do try to be a little more polite in the future.”

I nodded and I sank into a chair.

Relief washed over me like water.

_At least she hadn't figured out the details of what happened…_

I watched as the nurse went into a back room and disappeared from sight. After that, I stared at nothing in particular. I couldn't really do anything but wait for my Pokémon to emerge.

Little did I realize that I wasn't the only one frustrated.

A few minutes later, I was alerted to the sharp sound of steps. The nurse appeared again, and looked straight at me.

This time, there was no way someone couldn't see me shiver.

Gone was the nurse’s friendliness, replaced by a hard, fiery glare. Her face no longer held a smile, but instead, a stern frown. The nurse had walked away so carefree before, yet now stood tall and rigid.

“Your Starly... Her wing is badly injured! You're lucky if she'll be able to fly again! And the rest of her is also badly hurt! How could you let her get into that condition?”

By now, the other Trainers were staring. I swore I could hear a few of them snickering. Some of them still wore their own glares.

_I couldn't lose my composure now. Not in front of all these people…_

_Especially after I'd so rudely gotten in their way…_

I faced the Pokémon Center nurse and flatly replied.

“It's as I said. It was a tough battle.”

The nurse's eyes continued to blaze as she retorted.

“That's not what the Starly told me!”

I gritted my teeth.

Of course the nurse would understand Pokémon. She dealt with them every day.

And of course Pajara would tell her what happened. She had to; it would help the Center figure out how to treat her wounds.

_But still… What did Pajara say?_

_As her Trainer, I had a right to know._

_Didn't I?_

I opened my mouth, but the nurse didn't let a single letter escape.

“Your Starly said you ordered her to keep going despite knowing she was injured! You did it even though you had other Pokémon that were able to fight! And she continued that battle for your sake, even though she understood the odds of survival were low!”

What she said next made my eyes go wide.

“She told me you're the type who has to win no matter the cost! I may not know you, but I can already see it!”

Another corner of my eye, I could see that the other Trainers’ eyes had also gone wide.

_Were they surprised that a Pokémon Center nurse could react with such rage?_

_Or did they see themselves reflected in that comment?_

I tried to speak again, but the nurse wasn't done chewing me out.

“A wise trainer would've switched out! Or you might have recalled her, and fled to the Center! But you didn't do either, and you knew she was suffering! You knew there was a chance you could lose her! Yet you didn't even seem to care that she could die!”

I looked down at the floor.

It was hard enough having a nurse scolding me for injuries I could've prevented.

What was worse was that I knew she was right.

I knew Paraja was injured on the ground, and that she could have died that day.

I had a chance to stop the fight.

And yet I didn't. I was so focused on winning…

Immediately, I clenched my fist.

No, it wasn't entirely my fault.

It was the wretched Bidoof who started the fight, and distracted my rightful catch.

_Chispas…_

Yes, Chispas was a good name for it.

It was no more than what it deserved.

Yet I couldn't show anger now.

If I did, it would look like I had learned nothing from the nurse’s outburst.

And I already had half the Center staring at me. I didn't need any more of that.

Calmly, I replied.

“I understand. I will be more careful next time.”

There was no missing the apology written on the nurse's face.

She must have thought her conduct earlier was unprofessional.

Or maybe she realized that most of the people in the Center had also been staring at _her_.

Perhaps she was also ashamed of what happened, but I couldn't detect any shame in her eyes.

At least she had returned to professionalism now, and her tone softened when she spoke to me.

“Can I trust you to keep your word? I don't want anything to happen to young Trainers and their Pokémon…”

I nodded. “You can.”

Of course she would ask a question like that. Returning to professionalism did not mean the nurse would abandon caution.

And I did just place a Pokémon in danger needlessly.

But it was best not to worry about it now.

Quickly changing the subject, I stated “My Pokémon… when will they be ready?”

The nurse responded.

“Well, the injuries they have are severe. I believe it will be at least a few hours. I suggest not leaving town for a while.”

I grimaced.

_So I was stuck in town because of that battle… Well, at least Jublife was a nice place to be stuck in…_

_But this was all because of that Bidoof…_

I shook my head.

I had to remain polite.

So I responded.

“Thank you.”

I was about to walk off, but the nurse held up her hand.

“You're not going to see them?”

It took all my effort to keep from grimacing.

_I couldn't see them…_

_Because I wouldn't see them…_

_There were no Pokémon in those rooms…_

_Only machines, blood, and bandages…_

_All eerily contrasted against pure white…_

_White like…_

_White like…_

No, that was the last thing I needed to think about.

Now I needed to simply give my answer.

Curtly, I shook my head.

As I turned to walk away, I saw the nurse hold up her hand.

“Wait. One more thing.”

I turned around to again see the nurse’s concerned face.

“Winning battles is important, but don't forget about the Pokémon who fight for you. Remember to treat them well. They’re your friends, not tools of war.”

I nodded quickly.

However, as soon as I turned around, I grimaced.

That lecture was one every Trainer dreaded…

Because everyone, no matter how they trained, knew its meaning.

All honorable Trainers lived by those words, and were taught them the very first day they set out.

To be lectured meant that one had forgotten. And to forget meant that a Trainer had sullied their honor.

Or lost it entirely.

I clenched my fist.

I would not lose my honor as a Trainer. To be one was a privilege.

_And yet…_

_How could I be a friend to the Bidoof I caught?_

_How could I be a friend to one that stranded me in the city? To the one that cheated me out of my rightful catch? To the one that nearly killed one of my other Pokémon?_

_I couldn't._

_I wouldn't._

**Author notes:**

**So Chispas actually was the name of the Bidoof who became my catch. The reason for naming is slightly different. I did miss an Abra on the route, but actually got a chance to try and catch it before it ran away. I was hoping for something strong in its place, but Bidoof appeared instead. As a result, I was frustrated and named it Chispas.**

**It's worth noting that usually Nuzlockes do not allow the player to get extra catches if they miss they first one. However, I misinterpreted the rules of the classic Nuzlocke (thinking that the first Pokémon each area referred to the first successful catch). By the time I figured out what the rules in reality, I'd been playing for a while and decided to continue that way. I did, however, have a rule against constantly knocking Pokémon out to get rare ones.**

**-I unfortunately don't know how the battle against the Bidoof unfolded in the actual game. However, I do know that Pajara was in my party at the time, so I had her fight it here. Paraja is the Spanish word for a female bird, hence why the Pokémon is female.**

**-The light flashing on the Poké Ball to the signal Pokémon is caught comes from both the games and the anime. A Poké Ball will usually shake a while, and then light up if the catch is successful.**

**-The idea of talking to a Pokémon through the Poké Ball comes from the anime. In it, several Trainers give their Pokémon commands before battle while they are still in their Balls. Others talk to their Pokémon after fights using the same method.**

**-The idea that Bidoof is used only to ferry people around comes from how it is mostly used in-game. In the games, Bidoof and its evolution can learn many moves that can help the player travel the Pokémon world. However, they are not strong in combat. So many players use them to travel, but not for fighting.**

**-The psychic power being blue comes from the anime, when most psychic type attacks are blue. Abra fleeing, however, comes from the games. Unless a player captures or traps an Abra on the first turn of the fight, it runs away using the move Teleport. After that, the battle ends.**

**-The confrontation about how the protagonist treats her Pokémon comes from something I observed in the games. The player is constantly told to be friends with their Pokémon, and to do not treat them like tools of war. There are people in the games who ignore this, and they are looked down upon.**

**However, the player can choose to treat their Pokémon very badly, and receive almost no repercussions. So I thought it would be interesting to see a "player" character who did treat their Pokémon badly, and had obvious repercussions.**


	5. The First Fight

  1. The First Fight



There wasn't much do, so I continued sitting on the same chair I'd used before. Even though the nurse indicated that I should stay in the city, it still dangerous. I'd heard of attacks happening here before, and I wasn't about to take any chances.

Besides, it wasn't like the main attractions in the city were useful to me.

I had no money to buy a television and no place to store it. I didn't have the money to buy an apartment either.

Not like I would be needing one. I wasn't planning on staying in Sinnoh at all.

I still the memories of my schooldays, but it would be awkward marching into the place now.

I already had a Pokétech, and the GTS had been inactive for years.

So I could only really stay at the Center, and wander around there.

Of course, the other Trainers from before were still present, but a lot of them were spending time getting their own Pokémon healed.

I doubted the ones who weren't busy wanted to talk to me. Not after what I'd done before.

So I sat and waited. Sometimes I'd wander, but it was to nowhere.

Eventually I grabbed a book I found, but it didn't interest me.

I kept my foot impatiently. Waiting for healings was so tedious…

Luckily I did not have to wait too long.

The nurse of the Center entered, carrying a tray with holes. In the holes were six black-and-white capsules, and somehow, they didn't roll away.

The nurse once again looked straight at me, but there was no longer any hostility in her eyes.

“Miss, your Pokémon are all healed.”

I stood up, rapidly walking over to the desk. As the nurse handed me the tray, I replied. “Thank you.”

The nurse responded. “Please, do be careful out there.”

I nodded, walking away with the tray. Finding my own place to remove its contents was far less clumsy than trying to do so on the front desk’s high counters.

I glanced around wildly, looking for in an area to place the tray. The crowds were still numerous, and I wasn't about to shove my way through them again.

Finally, I set the tray down on a table. Without hesitation I scooped up the Poké Balls. I wasted no time as I attached the first five to my belt.

My eyes hardened as I reached the sixth one.

_Chispas…_

It may have been mine now, but I would never forget that this Pokémon had caused me nothing but trouble.

And I would make sure it never forgot that, either.

With that, I attached the troublemaker to my belt.

I headed out of the Pokémon Center and into the route north of Jublife. Route 204, it was called.

Like its eastern counterpart, the scenery was accompanied by the roaring of water. However, unlike the other place, it only contained a bit of grass. Further on stretched white fences, pointing the way toward cities beyond.

Despite the differences in landscape, this route was not without its own Pokémon.

Wurmples crawled everywhere despite the lack of trees. Occasionally, an unlucky one found itself in a Starly’s claws. The birds would screech in triumph, rapidly flying off with their hapless catch. Yet the Wurmple weren't the only ones disadvantaged by the Starly.

Budew also had to take care to avoid the birds. The little buds shook furiously. Whether they shook out of fear or intimidation was not known. Their usually smiling faces grew serious as they scanned the sky.

Yet, the Budew weren't the only ones scanning.

Shinx glanced up, looking for an easy meal. Occasionally, one would turn to the side. Over there, it was easy to see the Bidoof busily nesting by the water.

Bidoof. Like the one I had.

Like the one I loathed.

I crept onto the route, right before the grass and water.

Rage still burned in my eyes as I held the Poké Ball.

Now I would have to face that thing up close.

As I threw the Ball with all my might, I shouted one word.

“¡Chispas!”

The aforementioned Pokémon appeared in a flash of white light.

The first thing I noticed was that it was oblivious to how I felt about it.

The Bidoof looked like it was wagging its tail. It chirped innocently while fixing me with what seemed like a smile.

Perhaps its docile demeanor was because it was no longer fighting for its freedom.

Or it may have been trying to trick me with a cute act.

I couldn't let my guard down.

Authoritatively, I stated. “Chispas… That will be your name from now on. You are new to the team, so you will need some training.”

I gestured to the grass.

“Let's get to it.”

Unfortunately, Chispas not share my feelings.

He flinched, moving away from the grass where his fellow Pokémon resided. Now not only was his tail shaking, but his entire body.

Perhaps he was reminded of our earlier battle, and did not want another.

Or perhaps he was really as docile as he claimed, and only put up the face that he did because he was forced to fight.

Perhaps his newfound shyness was actually defiance, and everything was an act.

Regardless, training had to go on.

I stared down at Chispas. He whimpered and cowered under my hard gaze.

“Chispas, whether you like it or not, you must train. I know you might be scared from the previous battle, but training is the only way you will get strong enough to prevent battles like that from happening again.”

Chispas kept staring at me. Then slowly, he nodded.

He might've not agreed with what I wanted him to do, but at least he understood the reason for it.

Cautiously, the two of us made our way into the grass.

He may not be as strong as an Abra, but there wasn't a Pokémon in the world who didn't benefit from a little training.

But getting those benefits was easier said than done.

Bidoof were characteristically weak Pokemon, and there was no better example than Chispas.

Every opponent weakened him, and he could barely do any damage back. That was, if his attacks hit at all. In a few instances, Chispas was almost killed. And I lost count of the amount of times the others had to cover for him. I ran back to the Pokémon Center so many times I felt my legs would collapse from under me.

I sighed.

What a worthless Pokémon!

But at least he could fight.

A defenseless Abra would mean a tougher time training. The others would've no choice but to cover for a Pokémon like that.

It would've taken even longer, and I wasn't sure I could take much more.

By the time training was nearly done, the sun was already low in the sky.

I returned from my latest Pokémon Center run and scanned the area.

Just one more fight, and Chispas would be strong enough to continue on with the rest of the team…

I crept along, knee deep in the grass as I looked for a potential opponent.

Surely there must be something weak enough for even Chispas to take out…

Just I when I was about to give up, my eyes caught a flash of movement.

Leaves trembled as a creature stepped out of the grass.

A Budew.

The Budew must have been young or timid, because the grass-colored leaves on its head trembled. The green bud that made up the rest of it was shaking too. I wondered how the Budew kept its balance. The ear to ear grin that its species was known for had now turned into a frown. Its yellow face filled with fear, and it looked as though tears would fall from the Budew’s black eyes. Perhaps it would trip over its stubby legs, or run away.

Yet it didn't do either, and stood its ground.

So I took the cue to fight back.

I threw my Poké Ball, as I had so many other times that day.

A now familiar word crossed my lips.

“¡Chispas!”

My Pokémon appeared in an iconic flash of bright white light. Chispas stared straight at his opponent, then back at me.

Calmly, I stated “Let us fight.”

Chispas backed away, hesitation present in his eyes.

It couldn’t have been from fatigue; there was no way he was tired so soon after a healing.

Perhaps he had sensed the same hesitation that had been present in his opponent.

Or maybe I had gone against his docile nature for too long.

Regardless, it was a bad sign to have Pokémon that did not want to train.

A little encouragement was needed.

Rapidly, I stated.

“One more battle, Chispas, and then you may have a break. You need to get strong enough to continue on through the region. Right now, you're almost there.”

Chispas look back at me, nodding.

In another instance, he too stood prepared for battle.

So I wasted no time.

“Chispas, start this off with the same attack you used on Pajara!”

Chispas nodded and leapt.

As he did so, I grinned.

The two of us may have known what the deadly attack entailed, but the opponent had no idea what was coming.

Or so I thought.

As Chispas prepared to soar over his opponent, the Budew stood at the ready.

Its eyes hardened, and its next motion made my blood run cold.

The twisted leaves on top of the Budew’s head opened up. The Pokémon was then surrounded by green aura, strongest where its leaves had opened up.

As soon as Chispas soared above the Budew, his face contorted. His body was enveloped in the same green aura that had surrounded his opponent.

I stiffened.

There could be nothing good about this.

That is, if Chispas’s shrieks of pain were anything to go by.

Now he was the one struggling, attempting desperately to break free of the Budew’s attack.

But his efforts were in vain, as the green aura kept him suspended in the air.

I gritted my teeth.

He may have been worthless in battle, but he was still a Pokémon. He could still provide extra manpower.

And I needed all the manpower I could get.

I needed him to survive the battle.

But now Chispas’s eyes were squeezed shut as he shook helplessly. His foe was so tantalizingly close, yet he could not touch it.

I clenched my fist.

Chispas’s life was in danger, as he was at the mercy of the Budew.

And there was nothing I could do but watch.

After what seemed like forever, the green aura disappeared.

The Budew staggered slightly, yet quickly regained its footing.

Chispas couldn't do the same.

He sailed over the Budew, slamming hard onto the ground.

For a moment, he lay crumpled in the heap.

I shuddered.

Was the battle already over?

Yet Chispas slowly rose to his feet, and I sighed in relief.

But my problems weren't over.

Chispas still cringed and trembled.

There was a chance he might not hold out much longer. Bidoof were not known for their defenses.

And worse, the Budew seemed to be stronger than ever.

It glanced around wildly, sharp eyes on the lookout for any potential counterattacks.

I had to end this quickly.

The Budew could rapidly turn around in both directions. However, it would be vulnerable to a swift side movement.

But I had to be cautious.

If I wasn't quick with my commands, the Budew would catch on to what I was doing.

And then Chispas would be weakened further.

Yet another problem surfaced.

How would I deliver my commands without the Budew knowing?

If I shouted them, the enemy Pokémon would immediately recognize what I was trying to do.

And then all would be for nothing.

I glanced down at my trembling hands.

What to do?

My hands certainly weren't giving me any answers…

_Hands…_

_Hands…_

_That's right…_

_I could use my hands…_

_This body wasn't restricted by any painful spasms. It wasn't met by an invisible force pushing it back._

_A simple gesture would be easy._

_But I still had to be careful._

_A gesture meant nothing if Chispas couldn't see it._

_But this was the only chance I had…_

Clearing my throat, I shouted.

“Chispas, do what you did before, but stay on land!”

Hesitation flickered in Chispas’s eyes, and I didn't blame him.

After all, I had just told him to run straight into an enemy that had a clear advantage.

But I hoped, even as a new catch, that he would be loyal enough to trust me.

And he was.

Chispas charged straight towards the enemy, and the Budew didn't move.

The familiar green aura flickered as the Budew prepared to launch another attack.

It was then that I made my own move.

Chispas had to go to the left, so I quickly waved my hand and pointed in that direction.

I wasn't sure if Chispas would notice, but somehow, it did.

As the Budew focused on preparing its attack, Chispas skidded to the left.

The Budew’s eyes widened in surprise as Chispas smashed straight into it.

Yet the Budew quickly regained its composure, and I noticed tiny thorns appear from it.

My eyes did not miss the purple hue of those thorns, especially when they reached Chispas.

Chispas gasped as the thorns pierced him. For a moment, I could see the same purple hue flash. And then, Chispas drooped. He looked like he would be sick at any moment.

I resisted the urge to curse.

Of course this would happen.

Budew were able to poison those who attacked up close.

And all Chispas could _do_ was attack up close.

Now I _really_ had to finish this quickly.

I could think of one thing…

It may make the situation worse, but I was out of options.

With that, I played the only card I had.

“Chispas, knock it down!”

Chispas looked hesitant again, and I couldn't blame him. After all, he would run straight into the line of fire.

His body still continued to droop, the poison clearly taking its toll.

The plan was reckless, at best.

But I was out of options.

It was either this, or death.

I motioned for him to follow my command, and he nodded shakily.

Again, Chispas charged towards the Budew.

His opponent surrounded itself in green energy.

As Chispas made his move, the lethal light ensnared him.

It may not have kept him suspended in the air, but it didn't make the attack any less devastating.

Chispas cringed, eyes squeezed shut. His body drooped so much I thought it would hit the floor right there. He glowed green as he was once again enveloped in the deadly energy.

I winced.

I knew this would happen.

But what other choice did I have?

It was either this, or nothing.

I clenched my fist and stared at the battle.

Chispas was still cringing, helpless in the green aura’s taut grip.

My knuckles turned white.

Chispas had to take this attack, or all was lost.

The battle, and his life.

After what seemed like a long time, the light stopped.

The green aura released Chispas, but I knew it was too early to celebrate.

Chispas staggered and swayed, the ghastly mask of illness never leaving his face.

I thought for sure I would see him collapse to the ground.

I shook my head.

I couldn't think about that.

Instead, I glared at the Budew.

A look of triumph and relief crossed its face.

I clenched my fist.

How _dare_ the Budew be joyful at my expense!

Yet as the Budew turned to walk away, its joy was short-lived.

Chispas pulled himself up, eyes blazing like fire.

The Budew’s own eyes widened in surprise, but it didn't have time to even yelp.

It only had mere seconds before Chipas slammed straight into it.

The resulting force was enough to knock the Budew to the ground. Unlike Pajara, the Budew didn't struggle.

Or rather, it couldn't.

Its only attacking mechanism was its bud, and Chispas’s paw forced that shut.

Now the Budew trembled and shuddered, fear lining its face.

Chipas hunkered down like he had so many times, smashing into the Budew with all his might.

The Budew collapsed on the ground, eyes closing as it fell into unconsciousness.

Unfortunately, Chispas collapsed on top of it.

My eyes went wide.

I couldn't lose Chispas after all that!

Rapidly, I recalled Chispas into its Ball.

The ball glowed an eerie purple.

I stiffened.

Every Trainer knew that purple meant.

Poison.

And every Trainer knew what poison meant.

The chance of death.

I rushed forward and recalled Chispas into his Poke Ball.

It continued to emit the ominous purple glow as I attached it to my belt.

_I had to make to the Center…_

_I just had to…_

My feet struck out in front of me as the grass threatened to impede my progress.

Yet I didn't even feel it.

Instead, I focused on the purple flash that came from Chipas’s Poké Ball.

The flash became grew stronger with every step I took.

I shuddered, and fought to keep my balance.

The flash could only mean one thing.

And that was what my thoughts focused on.

I had heard horror stories about poison.

_Pokemon gasping as the life slipped away... Trainers helpless as Pokémon died inside their Poke Balls... Trainers rushing to Centers, only to find that their beloved Pokémon had already passed…_

I shook my head.

No, I wouldn't be one of those Trainers.

I couldn't be.

I barely registered my feet hitting the pavement.

Chispas’s Poké Ball still flashed purple, and my eyes never stopped darting to it.

Suddenly, the flash stopped.

My face paled.

Could the worst have happened?

That one thought took over as I dashed into the Pokémon Center. I shoved my way through the crowds, thrusting the Poké Ball into the stunned nurse’s hands.

I managed to gasp out. “My Pokémon was poisoned! And injured too!”

The nurse looked at me quickly and responded.

“All right, calm down. We’ll be sure to heal it up. Just have a seat over there.”

Once again, I collapsed into a chair.

The other Trainers in the crowd wore surprise on their faces.

At least no one snickered this time.

For what seemed like hours, I sat, waiting.

_Would Chispas be all right?_

_Had I made a horrible mistake?_

_Would I be forced to bury my own Pokémon this day?_

My eyes wandered to a Chansey with a clipboard. It scanned the area, seemingly searching for something.

At last, its eyes settled on me and it promptly it walked over.

I shuddered as I locked eyes with the Pokémon.

It still wore that sickeningly sweet smile.

I cringed.

How I wished I could wipe that smile right off its face!

But I had to remain polite.

I didn't want to draw more negative attention.

So instead, I asked.

“Are you looking for me?”

The Chansey nodded, still fixing me with its annoying smile.

“Does the nurse wish to see me?”

Another nod.

“Very well.”

At this I saw the Chansey get out a pencil and mark something on the clipboard before turning away.

I sighed.

I needed to remember that I wasn't the only Trainer here this day.

Might as well get this over with quickly.

I trotted towards the back of the Center, where I could see the nurse waiting.

The look on her face was softer than the nurse that had been the there that morning. Yet, a blazing fire still appeared in her eyes.

I tried hard not to shrink back.

I had a feeling I already knew how this encounter was going to go.

But I have to respond anyway.

“Hello, you wanted to see me?”

The nurse nodded.

“Yes, I have an update on your Pokémon.”

My eyes widened.

_The fire in the nurse's eyes._

_Could the worst have happened?_

I barely managed to keep my voice even as I stammered.

“My Bidoof… Will he be okay?”

Rapidly, the nurse replied.

“Yes, he's going to be all right. The poison faded away. And although his injuries are severe, it's nothing our healing team can't fix.”

I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding.

I'd heard details of poison fading away, leaving Pokémon injured but alive.

Careless of me not to remember them now…

But at least Chispas would be okay…

Yet my happiness was offset by what the nurse said next.

“Young lady, it may be rude of me to say this, but… you should treat your Pokémon better. Your Pokémon nearly died in the fight, and yet you pushed it to keep going…”

“It wanted to fight.” I cut in.

I was not in the mood for _this_ conversation again.

Yet the nurse continued.

“And you could've stopped it. You have almost complete control over whether or not your Pokémon fight, and that would've been a good time to use it. As a Trainer, it is your responsibility to ensure your Pokémon are receiving proper care. Even in battle.”

I nodded curtly. At least she was nicer.

I responded.

“Yes, I'm aware of that.”

“Are you really? Because it sure doesn't seem like you are.”

I open my mouth to retort, but closed it as the nurse continued to talk.

“The loss of a Pokémon is a horrible pain… It's something I don't want any Trainer to have to experience. Least of all a young one, like you.”

I noticed the nurse had a faraway look in her eyes.

How many Pokémon had she lost?

How many times had she watched others’ Pokémon die?

How many Pokémon would she continue to lose?

I'd heard the stories of those who lost Pokémon… Young, starry eyed, Trainers, only to be crushed forever…

The strongest kept going, but they were forever changed…

Death of a Pokémon was something everyone wanted to avoid.

But maybe, when Trainers battled day in and day out, it was something unavoidable.

I couldn't say for sure. All I could say was that it hadn't happened to me.

Yet.

I was snapped out of my morbid thoughts when I realized the nurse was also back to the present. She seemed to be looking at me a bit impatiently, as though she expected an answer.

I gave her one.

“I understand. I will make sure to heed your advice.”

An unreadable expression crossed the nurse's face, and she walked away from me.

I guessed it was a while before Chispas would be ready, so I sank back down into a chair.

Still, the words from before echoed in my head.

_You could have stopped it…_

_You should treat your Pokémon better…_

Perhaps, _could_ I have done something different?

I clenched my fist.

No, there was nothing I could've done differently.

It was all Chispas’s fault.

If it hadn't been weak in battle, the opponent wouldn't have been able to do so much damage.

And if the opponent wouldn't have done so much damage, Chipas wouldn't have ended up in this condition…

Right from the beginning, that Pokémon was trouble…

And it would be a long road ahead.

Because now was only the first true fight.

**Author's notes:**

**-So here we have one of the first actual battles with Chispas. I didn't have much of a record of the battle, other than Chispas being poisoned, the foe was a Budew, and the poison faded away. So I had to fill in the blanks from there.**

**-Budew using green energy to attack Chispas has to do with the moves in the games. At this point, Budew’s main attacking move is the grass type attack Absorb. Absorb is a move that drains HP from an opponent and sends it back to the user. It's green here because the games almost always show it as green.**

**-The Budew poisoning Chispas has to do with one of Budew’s special skills. Budew has an ability called Poison Point. Poison Point makes that any Pokémon that makes contact with the user has a chance to get poisoned. Unfortunately, all Bidoof can do at this point is make contact. Absorb is also shown attacking from a distance because it does not make contact.**

**-Poison being a big deal has to do with how it is portrayed in the games. In the older games, poison would cause a Pokémon's HP to drop a few more steps. If enough HP was depleted, the Pokémon would faint. Later on, it was changed so that the poison faded away completely if the Pokémon's HP reached one (platinum being one of the games that did this). Eventually, the effect outside of battle was removed completely.**

**As any fainting in a Nuzlocke means of Pokémon is permanently gone, poison becomes a dreaded condition. Some people also choose to have poisoning fading away be the same as death, but I chose not to do that for this run. Chispas’s Poké Ball flashing is because when a Pokémon lost HP outside of battle, the screen would flash.**


	6. The First Fears

6: The First Fears

Almost unconsciously, I went through the process of getting my Pokémon healed.

The waiting… Taking my Pokémon from the tray... Reattaching them to my belt…

I may have looked like a new Trainer, but the motions were second nature.

I cringed and clenched my fist.

_Already, I was at risk of revealing my true identity…_

_If anyone found out who truly was…_

I shook my head.

No, I could not think about that.

I had to keep going.

Hopefully, there would be no more issues.

With training done, I could at least avoid battles…

Cautiously, I crept out of the Pokémon Center. My destination was only a quick trip to the east, and already knew where to go.

But not everything was the same as before.

During my training, the sun was setting. Now the night sky blanketed the entire world.

The road could barely be seen in the darkness, and I very nearly stumbled as I headed out of Center. No television sets blared their tunes, the building having shut its doors. Even the people were absent, as the customers running to and fro just hours before had vanished into their homes.

The school also made no sound, as before. Previously I'd envisioned students rushing through its doors. Yet now I could see nothing.

Most students wouldn't consistently come to school at this time of night. I doubted the small red schoolhouse in the center of the city taught the few that did.

I could make out the streetlights that illuminated parts of the city. They cast down their beams in golden circles, silently telling me to come closer.

But I paid them no heed.

I was too far away to dash for it, and going back into the city would take me the opposite direction of where I wanted to go.

Besides, there were other lights I could follow.

My gaze was drawn to those from building windows. In particular, the lights from the apartments shone down. They illuminated the pavement, mere steps away from where was headed. It was as if the lights were arrows, pointing me in the right direction.

I wondered what kind soul had put them on this day.

Probably some infamous night owl.

_Night owl…_

_Night owl…_

That's right…

My family never let me be a night owl…

_They_ were always insisting that I do things according to _their_ routine…

Go to bed at _this_ time, wake up at _that_ one… And it wasn't even noon!

Yet now I was here, away from them.

Here in the city, when most of the world was asleep.

It was as if I had it all to myself.

And I could be as much of a night owl as I wanted, with no one daring to stop me.

It seemed I wasn't the only one enjoying the wonders of the night, however.

The sound of someone yelling pierced my ears. Rapidly, I turned my head. The sound seemed to come from behind me, and my eyes also darted to the left.

The yelling only grew louder, and a chorus of voices blended together. Music also blasted my senses, although I couldn't recognize any of it. After focusing a bit, I could see something that looked like a nightclub.

Or maybe it was some other form of entertainment. I wouldn't know. I didn't truly understand what a nightclub looked like, and my family being at odds with my night owl tendencies meant that I probably wouldn't ever go to one.

The one thing I knew was that far too much light shone to belong to a simple streetlamp. It seemed as though it lit up half the street. The lights of the street lamps may have created their golden circles, but this light threatened to blind almost everything within its path.

I was tempted to walk towards it, but who knew where it would lead?

So instead I stayed in place, and smiled.

Of course the biggest city in Sinnoh would have nightlife.

And it was all mine to enjoy.

Again it beckoned me close, and my mind screamed at me to indulge.

Still, I did not follow my mind’s desires.

I probably wasn't old enough. Even if I was, I certainly didn't look the part. There was no way I could pull off a convincing act in this body. I’d get kicked out before I even entered.

Besides, it wasn't like I had a valid identification. None of the cards I carried were of _me._

They only depicted _her._

And _she_ definitely wasn't old enough to enjoy nightlife.

So my only choice was to stare at the natural light.

This light was that twinkled in the sky.

The stars gazed back at me, as if they had eyes of their own.

Perhaps they did. I couldn't tell.

Night owl or not, I was always horrible at stargazing. I wasn't about to try now.

But perhaps…

There wasn't anything to see up there.

Perhaps there were no constellations, and no spatial anomalies.

As I looked into the sky, a shiver ran down my back, and I knew it wasn't because of the cold night air.

Perhaps the greatest part of the sky was what _couldn't_ be seen.

Such as the dead looking down upon the living.

I closed my eyes.

_So many close to me were dead…_

_Were they looking down at me now?_

_And what did they think of the choices I'd made?_

I shook my head.

I had no way of answering that.

All I knew was that I had to keep going.

And so I let what little light there was guide me as I made my way to the east.

Hopefully, there would be no issues.

Luckily, my hopes were answered.

Aside from the occasional Zubat flying around, the sounds of the wildlife couldn't be heard. The wings of the blue bats almost hit me a few times, but I found I was quick at dodging.

Hardly any Trainers hung around at this time of night. Those who were present met an easy defeat.

Perhaps they were tired. After all, not all of _them_ could've been night owls.

Yes, thankfully, there were no issues.

At least until the grass and pavement stopped.

It gave way to solid rock. My legs crashed on the rocks, and I winced at the noise. A cave loomed in front of me, its inky darkness uninviting.

I shut my eyes, taking a deep breath.

I knew what this was. Many Trainers did.

The Oreburgh Gate now stood in front of me.

Rugged terrain began here.

And then, the terrain expanded into a city.

One of the busiest in Sinnoh, responsible for much of its exports.

And the first step for trainers collecting Badges.

I had to collect badges to win the game.

So I had to press onward.

I took a deep breath, and trotted inside.

Rock was as far as the eye could see, but I thought I could hear the distant sounds of water. Almost no light flickered through here, but there was just enough to see where I was going. My feet continued to pound on a road of hard rocks, but at least I knew where I was headed. Earth crumbled from the walls of the Gate. I tried to sidestep it, but flinched as dirt and gravel fell on me anyway.

Of course the Gate would have the problems with natural wear and tear. I wondered how long it would remain standing.

A friendly Hiker gave me a concerned look as I passed. I stiffened.

How awkward it was for someone to show concern to a stranger.

But perhaps his concern extended to all Trainers who passed through here. Hikers were known for their amicability.

But how many Trainers had he seen run straight into trouble traversing the rocky cave?

Probably too many to name.

Especially considering there were many Trainers here now.

Young ones set up shop with their camping gear. They may have littered the area, but surprisingly, their camping gear did not. The camping Trainers may have been youthful, but they weren't lazy.

They couldn't afford to be, hiking up to a rugged place like this.

Or perhaps there just wasn't enough room to throw things everywhere. Oreburgh Gate wasn't known for its size.

I changed my mind after seeing a few poor souls trying to set up a picnic on the rocky ground.

If the cave had enough room to set up a picnic, then it must've been larger than I thought.

I continued glancing around, noting more Hikers as they walked up steep inclines. However, they lacked the friendliness of the one I'd seen before.

Although all the trainers were different, they had one thing in common.

None of them showed even a hint of sleepiness within their eyes.

Were they all night owls? I couldn't say.

There was one thing I did know.

Trainers with energy meant battles.

It seem like mere minutes before I was forced into one.

Slowly, I crept across the cave floor. Battles were almost unavoidable, so was vital my team be ready at all times. For this reason, my Turtwig, Arbol, followed behind me. The tiny turtle held his head high as his feet hit the cave floor. Of course he would be prideful.

He was the first Pokémon to go on this journey, after all. He probably thought it was his duty to keep me safe.

And if that was his duty, then he had fulfilled it thus far.

Yet he was at risk of failing with every battle.

It was one more reason to be careful.

Immediately after this thought, something approached me.

Arbol tensed, and I quickly followed suit. There were still some darkness in the cave, and I couldn't make out much.

However, there was just enough to see the outline of a person.

And since we were both at eye level with each other, there was no way we couldn't have made contact.

The other Trainer must've thought the same, because he or she stepped into the open. I could see now that it was a young male, one of the campers scattered about the cave.

Without a word, we went into battle stances. There was no true arena here, but we could still stand across from each other to fight.

Within minutes, all was ready.

And not a moment too soon.

Arbol dashed in front of me, leaping onto the battlefield.

Fire blazed in the young camper’s eyes, and he nodded. He threw a Poké Ball into the air, and his Pokémon appeared in a familiar flash of white light.

A flapping of wings was heard as a small gray bird took the field.

I narrowed my eyes.

A Starly.

Arbol let out a cry, but I shook my head.

No matter how strong or loyal he was, Arbol was at a disadvantage. It wasn't worth fielding him in this battle.

Quickly, I shouted.

“Arbol, return!”

Arbol gave me a questioning glance, but jumped back. No matter how much he wanted to fight, he must've known the situation was dire.

However, I wouldn't go into battle without a plan.

I knew exactly who I would attack with.

This was his chance to prove useful.

I tossed my own Poké Ball, shouting.

“Go, Chispas!”

Chispas emerged in a similar flash of light. At first, alertness could be seen in his eyes as he focused on the opponent.

But that alertness was short-lived.

In another second, Chispas started trembling. All focus in his eyes was lost, as he glanced around wildly. Chispas backed away, stumbling over the cave's loose gravel. He winced, but did not step forward.

I sighed.

Of course he would be hesitant.

He remembered his battle with Pajara.

And even though this battle wasn't the same, why one do you remember the battle in which he lost his freedom?

But he _had_ to fight. It was in his nature as a Pokémon, and his duty as a Trainer’s.

And he’d proven he _could_ fight, even if it wasn't very well.

I shouted.

“Chispas, you must fight! Arbol needs you! All of the members of the team need you!”

Chispas glanced back at me. Although I could not understand him, I did not miss the silent question flickering in his eyes.

_Aren't you forgetting something?_

It took all my strength to suppress a shudder.

I had said the _others_ needed him.

I never said that _I_ needed him.

Was Chispas finally catching on to the treatment?

I shook my head. I couldn't focus on the now.

Besides, he was just a weak Pokémon, and the new one at that. He couldn't have caught on to me _that_ quickly…

I shook my head and glanced back at Chispas. He might not be able to understand my language, but he could at least understand _that._

Chispas’s body drooped and a reluctant expression crossed his face.

It only lasted a minute as he walked back onto the battlefield.

I stared straight at the battlefield, but I did not miss that which was around me.

Such as Arbol’s expression of uncertainty as he padded walked up from behind me.

I clenched my fist.

Of course he would be concerned. As the Pokémon to begin the journey with me, he would consider himself the leader of the team. Starters often did, I'd heard. That would make sense, since it was believed they have the strongest bonds with their Trainers.

With that bond and leadership came something else.

Responsibility.

And that responsibility meant Arbol was concerned for _all_ his teammates.

No matter how weak or new they were.

Unfortunately, there was nothing I could do to ease his uncertainty, except hope that Chispas would come out the winner.

But it seemed that Arbol wasn't the only one concerned.

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught the Trainer from before gazing at me disapprovingly.

Was he annoyed because I was forcing an unwilling Pokémon into battle?

Or because I had a Pokémon that was hesitant.

I didn't really know.

However, I understood one thing.

The battle had to start.

I may as well take the first strike.

I shouted.

“Chispas, attack!”

Chispas only had one way of attacking, so specifics were not necessary.

I'd wondered if the other Trainer thought the same as he shouted “Starly, strike from the sky!”

Chispas sped off, eyes hardened and focused on his opponent.

I clenched my teeth. For my strategy to work, I needed to be close.

But being close also meant I could be wide open for attack,

I had to be careful. So I focused on the Starly.

The bird let out a screech and flew towards Chispas, talons outstretched. When the two were about equidistant, it dove so fast I could barely see it.

Yet I knew what was coming.

And the perfect counter.

Within minutes, Chispas and the bird were so close I swore they could almost touch.

And that's when I made my move.

“Chispas, intercept it!”

I smiled.

The plan was perfect.

Chispas would do damage despite his weakness, and the bird wouldn’t be able to fly.

Even if the Stary somehow did regain its flight, it would be injured, and it would know that Chispas could have the upper hand.

Yes, there was no way this could fail.

Or so I thought.

As soon as Chispas was close, the bird whipped out of the way. Once again, I could barely see it. But it was clear the creature was moving, as it arced to the side.

In a heartbeat, it slammed into Chispas.

The poor Pokémon went flying backward as it smashed into the rocky ground. I tried my best not to wince as I saw Chispas cringing in pain.

But at least he staggered to his feet.

Perhaps I could retaliate.

But before I could even open my mouth, the Starly was upon him.

It wasted no time as it flew and dove at Chispas. Yet he could only stand helplessly, as the opponent was too quick for him to dodge. The bird attacked at blinding speed as it struck at every area.

An attack from behind…

An attack from the sides…

Even an attack from the front, before Chispas could even begin to lash out…

I clenched my fist. Of course a trained Pokémon would be much stronger and faster than the ones in the wild. That was usually the case…

How foolish of me for thinking I could use the same tactics?

Still I had to turn the battle around…

Yet there was nothing I could really do, because I couldn't see the Starly’s movements.

I might not have been able to see the opponent’s movements, but I could see Chispas’s pain. He was shaking again, his expression constantly holding more agony as he was struck.

Yet that wasn't the only thing I could see.

I could also see the angry red and black bruises that covered his body. There was so many I could hardly tell where the bruises ended and his fur began.

Chispas’s pained eyes looked straight at me, and I glanced back.

They carried a simple, pleading, message.

_Recall me. You know I can't win this._

At the same time, the Trainer had almost a sneer on his face. He wasted no time directing that sneer at me.

“Give up?”

I shook my head as I growled.

“Never!”

I knew what Chispas wanted, and I knew he might not be able to win.

But it had to keep going.

He had to get the experience. He had to prove himself.

Besides, it wasn't like I was unprepared.

Rapidly, I fished though my supplies. The other Trainer waited, his Pokémon flying in beside him. I was surprised that he decided to wait for me, when he could've just finished off my Pokémon right there.

But every Trainer knew that attacking someone trying to heal was poor sportsmanship. Some even considered it cheating.

And something else every Trainer knew was that the consequences for both were severe. It wasn't worth risking them, no matter how much opponents hated each other.

After a few moments of searching, I came out with a small spray bottle. The top of the bottle was light blue, with the bottom being purple. I checked that everything was screwed on properly.

It would need to be for what I was about to.

With that, I took the spray bottle and threw it with all my might.

“Chispas, take this!”

Chispas’s eyes widened with relief as the spray bottle sailed towards him. When it got close to him, it opened up. It was like a Poké Ball, but its purpose was nowhere near the same.

Instead of bringing forth bright light, blue liquid emptied from the spray bottle. This blue liquid poured all over Chispas, and a sigh of relief escaped him.

It was easy to see why.

All of Chispas’s bruising left him, his body healing as though he had never been hurt. The feet that had staggered before now stood firmly on the ground. Chispas’s eyes, once filled with pain, now radiated with vitality. Of course, he would probably have some scars from his ordeal, but at least he could fight now.

After a while, there was no more blue liquid. The spray bottle in which it had come from fell to the rocky floor. Surprisingly, it didn't shatter. I imagined it was made of some special material, or something.

I grinned.

Chispas may have been a newer catch, but even he knew that Potions could heal.

As did my opponent, who was facing me expectantly.

I nodded.

“Let us continue.”

The other Trainer pointed, and the Starly dove again.

I narrowed my eyes.

I couldn't intercept directly, but I could stop it some other way. The way was risky, but it might be my only chance…

“Chispas, jump on top of it!”

Both the trainer and the Starly exchanged glances of surprise. So much so, that the Starly skidded to a halt. It simply flapped in the air, a question written in its eyes.

And that's when Chispas made his move.

He leaped, like he usually did. It wasn't a huge leap, like the ones that I had seen him do before, but it was enough.

The Starly screamed as the extra weight slammed onto its back. It feebly tried to shake it off, but to no avail. I could barely see any of the bird's feathers, as Chispas’s fur covered it all.

And predictably, the opponent couldn't stay in the air.

The bird screamed again as it plummeted towards the ground. Chispas held on so tightly I thought I could see a trickle of blood staining gray feathers. The Starly smashed onto the rocky ground. A cloud of blinding dust appeared, and my opponent and I both shielded our faces as rocks went flying our way.

I strained my eyes, but I could only cough and wince. There was no way I would be able to see through the dust cloud and bits of rock.

This also meant I couldn't see Chispas, but I didn't need to tell him what to do next.

Eventually, the dust and rocks cleared.

And with that, I smiled.

Chispas was doing exactly what I expected him to.

He had slammed into the Starly, the opponent thrashing as it fought under the weight of its captor. Yet, Chispas continued to attack mercilessly, slamming into the opponent over and over. Eventually, the bird’s body was covered in bruises. The other Trainer looked on, eyes a mixture of shock and horror.

The battle is going well, and yet I couldn't help suppressing a shudder.

_This was exactly like what happened to Pajara…_

_The fear of losing her…_

_The pain she suffered as she fought..._

_And all the misfortunes Chispas had brought upon me…_

The memories pierced me like knives. I knew what was happening in front of me, but I also knew what my mind was saying.

As far as my mind was concerned, Pajara and the Starly currently struggling against Chispas were the same Pokémon.

I shut my eyes and grimaced.

I couldn't think about those thoughts now! I had a battle to finish!

Besides, there is one clear reason why Parjara and this Starly were not the same Pokémon.

Unlike Pajara, this bird could not get free.

Or so I thought.

Without warning, Chispas cringed in pain. He trembled, desperately trying to keep his grip on the target. Yet he failed, and shakily started stepping back. I could now see feathers again, as Chispas’s furry feet moved away from his opponent.

Slowly, the Starly was relieved of the crushing weight that had pinned it to the ground before. The bird’s eyes widened in shock, as if it couldn't believe what was going on.

I thought perhaps it would just lay there, giving Chispas an easy win.

Yet my hope, and the opponent’s shock, were short-lived.

Within minutes, the Starly recovered. It let out a squawk, and flew away so quickly that gray feathers dotted the cave.

I clenched my fist.

I should've known Chispas would get injured in the last attack.

Even with an advantage, a fall was a fall.

I stared back onto the battlefield.

Truth be told, it didn't seem the fight could last much longer.

The Starly’s entire body drooped, and I wondered if it could fall from the air so soon after it had taken flight. Almost every part of its body owned a bruise, to the point where I still couldn't see many gray feathers. If I squinted, I could see a bit of bright red lining the ones on top.

Despite his attack not going as well as planned, Chispas had still left a deadly mark.

But he wasn't doing so well either.

He staggered, having his own set of newly made bruises on his body. Chispas was still standing, but there was no way I could miss the pained grimaces written on his face. He still shook, and it seemed like it was using all his strength to remain upright.

Things looked grim, but the battle still had to go on. Just because both Pokémon were wounded didn't mean either would giving up.

I clenched my fist.

I didn't know how much energy Chispas had left, but it probably wasn't much.

So I had to finish this as soon as possible.

The question was _how._

But no matter how much I wanted to think of an answer, I couldn't concentrate.

I didn't think it was very cold in the cave, but I suddenly found myself shivering. Doubt grabbed me like the fiercest hand, feelings quickly flowing like water through my entire body.

It wasn't long before those feelings completely took over.

Leaving me as their helpless victim.

I stared straight ahead the battle, but saw nothing. I needed to shout a command, yet my mouth refused to move. My mind screamed to gesture instead, yet it was as though I was encased in ice. I swore I could feel sweat dripping down my back, and I stiffened. I tried not to let my handshake, but my efforts were in vain. I bit my tongue, not even noticing the pain, and was amazed when it didn't bleed.

Staring into space wasn't going to solve my problems, yet I couldn't stop. Between the discomfort and the sensations it brought, I'm surprised it didn't collapse right there.

I could guess the source of my distress, but that didn't make things any easier.

One question rattled in my head, the one I didn't know the answer to.

_If my previous tactics did not work, how would I win the battle?_


End file.
